Pep Talk

Ok it's race week. And I am a lot more nervous then I thought I would be. It's pretty much all I think about - "6 days from now, I'll have run a half marathon." "3 days from now, I will be able to say that I  ran a half marathon." And even though it hasn't happened yet, I am blogging about my half marathon. Because I want to remember how stressed I have been about this, because I want to look back on this and remember how I felt pre race. Because I am going to do this again. Yes, I haven't done it yet and I am already positive I will do this again. I haven't registered for one yet, because I am hoping next summer I will be pregnant and not able to run a half marathon, but I WILL be doing this again.

I have been asking EVERYONE and their mother about advice for the race. What to eat, when to eat it, what to wear, etc. And although a lot of the information is the same, there are subtle differences that have me stressed. For example, I have heard from a lot of people about the importance of carb loading the night before. And I don't like that idea. I don't want to eat a crap load of bad food BEFORE I burn it off! I have worked too hard to train for this to eat bad stuff. Once I am done, I am going to eat the crappiest thing in the world. Not sure what it will be, right now I am thinking a trip to JCW's for an avocado bacon cheeseburger with thick cut steak fries and a peanut butter shake. Regardless of what we eat, peanut butter WILL be involved. Anyway, back to food to eat BEFORE the race. I haven't done any carb loading leading up to this, through my practices or anything. So why would I do it now? But I haven't done a full 13.1 miles yet. And for that reason, I am going to do a carb load. To a point. Not going crazy. Not an all you can eat Olive Garden feeding frenzy. We are going to have spaghetti at home, and I am going to eat more than normal. Not an entire package of noodles haha. But more than normal. And yes they'll be whole wheat noodles. If I change up from my "normal" too much I KNOW my body will make me pay for it the next day and that's the LAST thing I need is to be sick race day!

Brynne & I need to be at University Mall at 5:30 AM Saturday. Which means I am waking up at 4:45 ish. Yeah. On a Saturday. Shoot me now. That is SO early. And the race doesn't start until 9 AM. And it's been REALLY cold lately, so I am worried that we are going to be freezing waiting for the race to start. Once we go, I know we will be fine. I just want to be able to stay warm leading up to the race. We are wearing Wal Mart version of Under Armour long sleeve shirts under neath t shirts with Mario or Luigi on them {I'm Mario, she's Luigi} with spandexy workout pants and cadet hats with ear muffs and white gloves. And mustaches. Those will be legit. But won't keep us warm haha. The pre race area up the canyon has a big tent that can hold lots of people, which is why we are wanting to get up there right at 5:30 instead of 6:30 {the latest runners can arrive}. So yeah, there is ANOTHER thing I am stressed about. Next half will be one during the summer. Like June. May would be perfect. This October thing might kill me - it snowed this morning in the valley. So how is it going to be up the canyon?! The weather is SUPPOSED to be clear and warmer {I want to say I heard around 50 degrees} but we'll see!!

Mentally, I am getting scared. As much as I don't want to be scared, I know I am. What if I twist my ankle and can't finish? How am I going to tell everyone that I failed at doing this? What if I get a really bad Charlie horse again {like I did when I did my 10.7 practice run} and end up having to walk most of the race? I am pretty sure I will end up walking part of it, but I'd like to be able to jog most of it. I want to be able to REALLY do this. I have worked SO hard for this! And I want to do it right! And that's where all my wonderful Chalene Johnson quotes will come in. During TurboFire, she is CONSTANTLY saying things to keep you going - stuff like "I believe in you!", "Guess what - you're not tired!", "Effort now means results later", "Tell yourself you can do this - tell yourself you got your second wind". I know that telling myself that works. I KNOW it does, because I do it in Turbo every single day. Chalene is going to get me through this half!

But mostly, I am so excited. I can not WAIT to feel that adrenaline rush of knowing I did this. Of knowing that I ran a half marathon. A HALF MARATHON! That's 13.1 miles in case you weren't counting. I will be able to say that I went from 292 pounds to a half marathon runner. BOOM BABY!! That is LEGIT!! And please please don't take that as me not being humble. I am just incredibly proud of myself at the thought of doing this. I can't imagine how I am going to feel when I have really done it. 2 more days and I will find out how awesome it feels to say that I have done a half marathon!!

My goal time is 2:30. That's around an 11 minute mile. That would be REALLY pushing myself. But race day energy is a little different than regular running day and I will be running with Brynne and she REALLY pushes me. But not matter how long it takes, 13.1 miles is still 13.1 miles. No matter how slow I am going, I am going to be proud of myself for accomplishing this.

I am not going to give up during this race, no matter how bad I hurt or how cold I am or whatever. It's not an option. I can do this. I KNOW I can do this. No matter how bad it hurts, that feeling of knowing I did it will be SO worth it. And so will the peanut butter shake from JCW's haha.

Next time I write on my blog, I will have run 13.1 miles in the 2012 Provo, UT Halloween Half Marathon. AHHH I can't believe it's only 2 days away!! Can't wait to cross this off of my Crazy Cool  list... {click here to read my post about that - it's a list of goals I want to accomplish before the end of next summer}.

PS My Fitbit broke {more like exploded} 2 weeks ago and my replacement should be here ANYDAY - literally. I REALLY hope it comes in time for the race - I want to see how many steps I took and how many calories I burned!!!

The new sectional!

We have been talking about getting a new couch for a long time. Like a REALLY long time. We wanted a sectional, but they are kinda pricey. Add in that Jake wanted it to be a reclining sectional and then they get EVEN MORE expensive. But after I got my new wedding band, we decided to get a new couch to make it somewhat fair for Jake.

Our old reclining couch. We bought this couch the week we got home from our Honeymoon. Kinda sad to sell it, but onto bigger and better couches!!

The chairs we had in our living room to provide additional seating. We got these from Jake's parents - they are at least 30 years old but still incredibly comfortable!

We went to RC Willey on Friday the 12th after I got off of work and found the couch we wanted. We looked on the website for a while, so we knew what we wanted but found it in the store and immediately knew for sure it was the one we wanted. They didn't have it in tan {the color we ended up buying} so we had to use our imaginations on what it would really look like. The salesman was awesome enough to give us the sale price from Columbus Day, even though the sale was over. And if he hadn't given it to us, my awesome friend Athina would have hooked us up - she works at RC Willey too :) It was delivered on the 16th and we couldn't love it more!

View from standing near the stairs on my tip toes

View if you are standing near the front door

View from the kitchen

We have a lot of space now between the wall and the couch so that the back door can still open. I actually REALLY like having that room there, and so does Max - he makes a race track and runs around the couch in circles!

View of the couch - the two ends recline

View of the wedge

View of the loveseat - this is why Jake wanted this couch. He REALLY wanted cup holders, and I LOVE that we have a storage place for remotes. Win win for both of us! Both of the seats recline.

We really love our new couch. Now I am getting ready to get curtains, new throw pillows, and re do the picture layout on the walls to make our living room even more AMAZING! Stay tuned - should be happening {fingers crossed} in the next few weeks!

Not the plan...

Today is the 19th of October, which means its the day I went to meet with my specialist about what the heck is going on with my blood count! I've talked about this a view times - read here to see the previous post. I was pretty sure that he would say that everything was fine - that my count was a little low, but not anything to worry about. This doctor, Dr. Wallentine, is a hemotologist and he knows all about blood. Dr. Naylor, the doctor that found the problem, is my family doctor who knows a little about EVERYTHING in the medical field. I just figured maybe Dr. Naylor was being a bit dramatic and thinking more of it than necessary. And that was wrong.

Platelette count is still too low. The average person has approximately 150,000 platelette cells or whatever. I had 44,000 the first time I had it checked at the end of Apil. When they checked it today, it was down to 29,000. Yeah that's kind of a problem. They want it bare minimum at 80,000-100,000 before we start trying to get pregnant. Dr. Wallentine is a super nice doctor and I am glad that we are going to be working with someone so knowledgeable and likable. The downside is though, we STILL can't start trying to get pregnant!

He is thinking there is a slim chance that my prenatal vitamin is what caused this. He put me back on the steroid I was on before, called Prednazone. The basic idea is that this will "shock" my spleen and have it heal itself by making it realize there isn't anything bad in my body anymore. I took this medicine before, that didn't happen. But he thinks there is a slight chance that is because the prenatal vitamin is causing this and I never stopped taking the prenatal, so that is why my blood count never got fixed - the problem never went away. So as of today, no more taking this prenatal vitamin.

I start prednazone tonight, taking 60 mg a day for a week. It will MAKE my platelette count come to where it should be. The problem is, I can't stay on it forever - not the greatest pill to be on long term. So we need my platelettes to stay high as I go off of it. Perfect world plan is that each week I will get my blood drawn on Thursday and first thing Friday morning get a call from him telling me to go down 10 mg. After I am completely tapered off of it {after 6 weeks}, assuming all goes well and my platelette count stays high for 2 months, then we are all clear and we can start trying to have a baby.

If my platelettes start to come back down while I am tapering, then I will need to go back up to 60 mg a day and we will go see a surgeon with Dr. Wallentine to set dates for surgeries. Yes, plural. If it comes to that, I will need to get a bone marrow biopsy to make sure that my bone marrow is fine and that I am not in the beginning stages of cancer. And I will need to get my spleen out. Expensive. To say the least.

Dr. Wallentine said he sees no evidence of cancer. At all. So don't freak out and think I am dying like I did for a second at his office. He said he is pretty sure we will need to get my spleen out, but wants to try the prednazone one more time to make sure before we resort to something so freaking expensive and permanent. And I will be out of work for 2 ish weeks, so yeah that is an added cost because no paycheck. LAME!!

We left the office, and Jake was trying really hard to help me see the bright side - I am not dying, it isn't cancer {most likely} and we have a game plan that could be really inexpensive to fix. I am just so bummed - I really thought they would say that everything is fine!! I feel fine. Nothing feels wrong. I don't understand how it could be so low with me feeling nothing from it. I seriously was feeling pretty low and sorry for myself and came back to work {my visit was on my lunch break} and got on Pinterest in between customers and found this GEM - seriously was EXACTLY what I needed to see right then!

I know this is going to work out. I know it will. I just have got to be patient and see that the Lord has a reason for everything and there is a reason this is happening right now. It's a good thing it's happening before we have kids, because if I am down for 2 weeks after surgery I wouldn't be able to be a very good mom and that would be hard on those around me, who would have to pick up my slack. This is good that it's happening now, before we have kids. While we have insurance. While I can be double covered on insurances. While we aren't pregnant yet. That we weren't trying and then had to stop trying. That we didn't find out after hemmoraghing to near death with a miscarriage. It could be worse. I have GOT to keep telling myself that. It will all work itself out - the Lord knows what he is doing and I have faith in Him. And I KNOW that he knows I want to have a baby. I know that this is a short trial, that it will be over soon and it's just a blimp on the radar in the eternal scheme of things. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.

Refocused

I mentioned in a post a few weeks ago that I have been eating a lot of sugar and that I needed to nip that in the bud. Well that'd be an understatement. I have been eating a TON of sugar. Almost every day, whether it be ice cream or a shake or frozen yogurt or a piece of cake or a brownie or whatever. I've also been eating out a lot more - and not making as many healthy choices as I used to. Problem has been identified. I do AWESOME during the week but really "splurge" on the weekends. And it's time to stop.

I work pretty dang hard during the week - waking up at 5:30 AM 5 days a week so that I can workout is no easy task. I didn't use to be a morning person, and I don't think I will ever truly love waking up before the sun, but I can't think of a better way to start my day. I work really hard during my workout - I am LOVING ChaLean Extreme and really noticing a change in my muscle definition. Still love Turbo, and I am so excited for my half marathon in 13 days. And then the weekend comes and I totally blow it. Like I said, eating out has become AWFUL for me - I know what healthy options are available at all the places we go, and I haven't been choosing to eat those things. Until today.

As of today, I am recommitting to my goal. I have had a mindset of thinking I am done and time to just maintain - I am 16 pounds from goal and that is pretty dang close. Lost 114 pounds overall. But I am not at goal weight. Or goal pant size. I am close, and I have come SO far and I am NOT going to quit now. I want to lose another 16 pounds. If I lose more, great. And that is going to happen by Christmas Day. Originally I had wanted to be at goal by the end of this month, but I am pushing that back a little bit. Partially because losing the "last" little bit can be harder, partially because I have been slacking and partially because I am gaining muscle and the scale is slowing down as a result.

I am not going to let 16 pounds disappoint me. I have lost 114. 16 is nothing. I can totally do this. Between my half marathon training wrap up and Turbo Fire, I know I can do this. And for the first time in my life, I will not make a New Years Resolution to lose weight. I will have a New Years Resolution to tone, or to maintain, but not to lose. Because I will have lost all the weight I want to lose.

To make that happen, I need to do a few things. I need to rededicate my efforts in my nutrition on the weekends. I am totally fine with "relaxing" a little one day a week, but I have been completely falling off the bus lately and my body can feel it so time to just "relax". Saturday is the hard day for me, but knowing I will let myself splurge a little bit should help me control myself the rest of the week. That means NO eating out, except on Saturday night {if we decide to}. And I need to decided whether I want to "splurge" on dinner, or dessert. But not both. One or the other. That will also help our finances but it will definitely help my nutritional goals. Workouts have to happen on Saturday. Period. I LOVE my strength training routines I am doing, so I will let Saturday be "just" a strength training day. No cardio, unless I want to. But I HAVE to lift on Saturdays. Except next Saturday, since its half marathon day. I won't lift that day haha.

And the biggest thing I needed to do was tell YOU about this - if I don't tell someone, put it on the blog, make myself accountable, it won't happen. So here it is. For anyone to read. I am GOING to lose 16 pounds over the next 2 months and 10 days. That will be my ultimate Christmas present to myself - weighing 160 pounds is something I have ALWAYS wanted to be able to say and this year, it's gonna happen!

Out with the old...

Three and a half years ago, this amazing guy named Jake asked me if I would marry him. And I, of course, said yes. We had bought my engagement ring the day before at Kay Jewelers and I was so happy to get to wear it now that we were offically engaged!



Jake taking a picture the day after we got engaged to send to my Aunt

My gorgeous ring after I got my nails done!

Our rings together the day we got engaged

Close up of our rings - tungsten for Jake and pink sapphire for me

Over time, my ring started to lose its "sparkle". I realized it was only SUPER sparkly right after I got it cleaned, and I don't live close enough to a mall to get it cleaned everyday. Around the time we got married, I started thinking I wanted to add a wedding band underneath my ring when we got sealed, and one for our 5 year annivsary on the top. We ended up not waiting until we got sealed before we bought a band for underneath, but I returned it the next day - it was WAY too sparkly compared to the rest of my ring, and made my ring look really dull and boring compared to the super thin band underneath it. It took away from the focus of the ring and I didn't like that, so the band went back and I decided I would just deal with not having a super sparkly ring.

And then I started losing weight. And I kinda told myself, if I really do lose as much weight as I want to, I want to get myself a FREAKING awesome present. And the first thing that came to my mind was a new wedding ring. Well, a new wedding band, but keep my same stone. I looked at bands for a while, to get an idea of what I liked and what I wanted and then would stop looking - I mean this is my wedding ring we are talking about! Jake gave that to me, I put it on on our wedding day as a symbol of our marriage and now I want to replace it?! Every few months though, I would start looking again and the cycle would continue - feeling guilty for wanting one, finding a new band, feeling guilty for wanting one, stop looking. You get the picture.

A week ago, I decided I really did want a new one. I would keep my stone, but I really do want a new one. So I bought one this past weekend!

On Saturday, in between session of conference, I went to Shane Co. in Midvale. We looked there for our ring before we found my ring at Kay and we were VERY impressed with them, we just ended up going with my ring at Kay instead because the ring at Kay was larger and less expensive. Because it is lab created. Yes, my old ring was "fake". So naturally, when I decided I wanted a new band, the first place I wanted to look for a new band was at Shane Co.

Getting ready to turn into the parking lot!

My ring on Saturday after 3 years of wear and tear and losing its sparkle

It took a few minutes before anyone was able to help me - they were SUPER busy but I had the most amazing salesman EVER help my look at rings. I went in with the intention to get a halo style ring, but ended up liking cathedral style too.

Top is a halo, middle and lower are cathedral and the pink is my current ring

 I ended up going with a square shaped cathedral!

Seriously, I was dying. I could not stop looking at my hand. It was EXACTLY what I wanted!

I found a similar ring to this one when we VERY first started talking about getting engaged at Schubach. It was WAY too much though so we didn't get it. So finding the same style ring at Shane Co for less was AWESOME!

Close up of my new ring above my old ring

They told me it would be ready for pick up on Tuesday, but it ended up being ready Monday. Since it was Columbas Day, the bank was closed so I was able to drive up and get it as soon as it was ready! To say I love it would be a GROSS UNDERSTATEMENT!!

LOVE it!

I got home and showed Jake, who couldn't stop laughing at how I couldn't seem to take my eyes off my hand. Then I took some side by side pictures of the new ring next to the old ring!

The diamonds are quite a bit bigger, so it definitely sparkles!!

My old ring has a big chunk out of it - makes me kinda sad, but I love the new one so much that it makes it ok!

I am still getting used to having a different ring on my hand when I look down, and I imagine that will take some getting used to. The salesman, for a brief second, tried to talk me into getting a new sapphire too and I am SO glad I didn't do that, from an emotional stand point. Yes, it is a new band. No, it's not the same ring as before. But the stone is the same. Like our marriage - things have changed since we got married {almost entirely for the better, thank heavens!} but the person I am married to is the same. I am really glad I kept my same stone - it helps me remember where I was and where I am now :)

Old ring on the left, new ring on the right

I am incredibly grateful that I was able to get my new ring - and I love that I can't seem to take my eyes off of it. I don't mean to sound vain - hopefully that doesn't come across that way! I am grateful for the ring Jake got me before, but our financial situation is ENTIRELY different now than it was then. We can afford to buy me a ring with real diamonds in it! Either way, I still feel guilty about it. I hope that goes away - I don't want to feel guilty about this, especially now that it is too late and I wouldn't be able to put my stone back in my old ring even if I wanted to. I'll make sure to post how I am feeling about all of this in a week or so, when I can weigh out if it's guilt over replacing my ring or guilt for the price tag ;)

On a side note, I have lost an entire size in my finger! I went from a size 7 ring to a size 6! Awesome huh??

A Trip to Wood Connection...

A few months ago I went to Wood Connection and bought some new crafts. I scored price wise, so I didn't feel too bad that I bought 10 or so crafts. I had a coupon for 2 of the things and then everything else pretty much was on sale. All the stuff on sale was 4th of July and I did that stuff first, even though it was after 4th of July haha. I love how it looks and can't wait for next summer so that I can hang it up!

I also got a big letter "M" for the front door to use as a wreath but I can't decide what to decorate it with, so it is up in my bonus room waiting for me to make up my mind on what to do with it. Someday, I will do something with it and then show it to the blogging world.

But the main thing I want to tell you about is the letters I got - I got the letters "A", "J" and an "&" sign to put in our bedroom! Yay for making our bedroom even better - it has become my favorite room to decorate!! They had the exact same letters on display and I LOVED it, so of course I bought it. I got it done pretty quick, but needed to paint the shelf so that I could hang them up. The shelf that we have was from our neighbors in Lehi - free! Heck yes! It was an.... awesome.... shade of gold. Yeah I didn't love it so I finally got around to painting it black about a month ago, and last night I FINALLY hung it up while Jake was at Young Men's!

This is the before picture. I am standing against the east wall of the bedroom {Jake's side of the bed}

After!!! I moved the curtains so that the picture would show better, and ripped one of them off the wall in the process. Whoops! The glare is from the light in the bedroom, but I wanted to show how the letters overlapped the frame... Wasn't sure if I liked that or not.

View with the light off {sorry it's dark} - it is REALLY high on the wall

So I moved it down - I like it SO much better!!

After I finished, I hurried and made me some dinner. While I was waiting for it to cook, I kept debating whether or not to eat one of the donuts sitting on my kitchen counter. My husband likes to test my will power haha. Good thing I don't like donuts or this would be REALLY difficult {said in an Emperor Kuzco voice, when talking about Pacha being a big fat guy}.

I resisted the donuts but had a few chips ahoy cookies Jake brought home from Young Men's. I have been eating WAY more sugar lately - gotta nip that in the bud before my stomach freaks out at me!

September Results

Another month has come and gone! It amazes me how fast time flies when I break months down in my head for weight loss. I did awesome with workouts - I worked out at least 5 days a week the whole month. One of the weeks I worked out 6 times. In my August post {click here to read that one} I talked about the goals I had for the month of September so here is a breakdown on how I did!

I finished the first month of ChaLean Extreme and I LOVE IT! Seriously wish I had started it a long time ago. I am getting some awesome definition in my shoulders and arms. Still working on my triceps, but making progress for sure! This month, phase 1, I was using resistance bands, which works for sure, but I would rather use weights so I ordered knock off select tech weights to use as I get into phase 2. Bowflex select tech weights are around $300 for a set, but the Gold's Gym ones I got at Wal Mart were just over $100 for the set! The downside is that Bowflex goes up to 52 pounds each and the Gold's Gym ones go up to 25 pounds each. But I think that will be plenty of weight. For a while anyway - with ChaLean Extreme, you lift REALLY heavy weights so I might just outgrow this set as I get ripped haha. I am supposed to pick up my new weights either today or tomorrow!

I stopped running throughout the week and started only running on Saturdays. Best decision EVER. I do NOT like to run, and running in the dark is not my favorite thing ever. And I just dread it because I hate it. Until now. Running on Saturdays has become long run day. I have been running somewhere and then stopping there rather than running to somewhere and then turning around to come home. Makes a WORLD of difference. And I get kind of an adrenaline rush the night before knowing what I am about to accomplish and that is awesome. Less than 3 weeks until my half marathon!! I had been thinking all along that as soon as I was done, I would NEVER do this again but now I am thinking I just might do another one. We'll see!

Turbo is still as awesome as ever. I just love Turbo. There is a reason it's my soulmate workout. I am hoping to get certified to be a Turbo Instructor before the end of the year! The only thing that has really changed this month with Turbo is that Brynne won't be teaching at XSI 3 days a week anymore. She has a lot going on with school and isn't making it to school on time after class on Mondays and Wednesdays. So that means no more Turbo with her on Monday and no more Hustle on Wednesday. I will still do Turbo on Friday's with her though!

I got close to meeting my goal of Hustle but I missed it by two weeks. I did do Zumba, so that made a little bit of a difference but still didn't completely make up for it. I am really going to miss Hustle though - I LOVE it because it doesn't feel like a workout - it is just so fun! For the same reason I dislike it - it doesn't feel like a workout and I end up feeling guilty for only doing that in a day.

Ab workouts went really great - I lost track of how many I did but I got quite a few workouts in and my abs were definitely feeling it. I need to take progress pictures once a month of my abs so that I can better track my results.

I stopped counting my HIIT workouts last month but I know I met my goal. This month I am going for 2 HIIT's a week!

Eating healthy is still going great, except I have got a little bit into the mindset that because I am almost at goal, it's ok to cheat a little bit more and my body hated me for it. Eating that much sugar, even though it was nothing compared to how I ate a year ago, was still more than my body could handle and made me feel a little sick. I am back on track this month though!!

And last but not least, I am getting my scale back. I won't be weighing myself everyday like I was before, but I do want to see how my weight fluctuates. I am still hoping to be at goal by my half marathon, but it may be closer to Thanksgiving since I have gained muscle. We'll just have to wait and see!

Ok enough talking - here are some pictures!

Beginning of the month!

The day before I cut my hair

After I cut my hair!

Adjusting to my hair cut - don't love my hair in this pic but I sure like my arms and waist ;)

After a HIIT workout!

Can't wait to see where I am in a month!! I am so proud of how I am constantly getting better and improving my health. And the next time I write a monthly post, I will have completed a half marathon!!!!