Thursday, June 21, 2012

Kinda bugged

So whenever something comes up in my life that is kinda personal, I tell myself that rather than posting on my blog, I will write in my journal. Doesn't ever happen. Like ever. And I am forgetting all those little moments that seem so significant at the time but later are laughable. So I have come to the conclusion that I will just post it on my blog and deal with it. So here is what is bugging me today.

I have always had people think I am older than I really am. Seriously for as long as I can remember. Part of that is that I acted pretty mature when I was younger, but I think most of it is because I have always been "bigger" and that made me look older than I really am. Since I have started losing weight, I feel like I look more like a 24 year old, rather than someone who is early 30's.

I have had not 1 but 2 customers at the bank think I was older than I really am this past week! One of the customers thought I was older than our vault teller {who is 29 but looks 20}. That one bugged me a little bit but not so much because she looks so young but still. The other customer mistook me for our awesome teller who is a grandma!! Granted, he was looking at me from behind, but still? Do I wear grandma ish clothes?? Or is my hair grandma ish??

Both customers were men. I have noticed men say things that don't sound the way they intended it to sound, so maybe I am just being super paranoid about this. But I have lost weight - I don't want people thinking I look older than I really am! I don't feel like I wear grandma clothes but maybe I do?? I really shouldn't care about this but you had better believe it is kinda making me sad. What is it about me that makes me look old??? At least I can take my frustration with the situation out on turbo :)

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Oh so grateful

So I am getting more and more baby hungry as time goes by. Having my adorable nieces and my wonderful nursery class is making things so much worse - I just want to have my own little kiddos!! Last December, Jake & I talked about it and were thinking we would start trying. I felt a little unprepared {I thought Jake would say he wanted to wait longer} and decided to go to the temple first before we stopped taking birth control.

Since I had only been endowed for a month at the time, I was really excited to have the chance to go to the temple with a serious decision that needed pondering and divine direction. Honestly though, I was not expecting Heavenly Father to tell me that it wasn't time for us to start our family. And I got that message loud and clear. I mean, the church loves families. Heavenly Father wants us to have babies! And I got a not yet?? What the?? 

I felt pretty strongly that I got a no because of my health. At the time, I was only able to buy clothes at plus size stores. I could order stuff online from Old Navy and Maurices but who wants to have to deal with returning the stuff that looks bad?? I decided to start losing weight and here I am 45 pounds lighter after almost 6 months. Learned a ton about how to eat and WHAT to eat and how different foods affect my body. Learned that I don't hate exercise. AT ALL. It has become my therapy and something I look forward to. Most of the time. I can wear clothes from normal stores now. This is really nice - I am glad I decided to lose weight before we got pregnant. 

At the rate we are going, I will reach my "goal weight" around November and that was when we were thinking we were going to start trying to get pregnant. No, I am not announcing I am pregnant. If anything, we may have to wait a little bit longer than expected.

A few months ago, Jake & I got physicals done with our family doctor to earn $200 Visa gift cards from Jake's work! And the physical itself was free so heck yes! While we were there, they did some blood work and my results for my platelet count came back really low. Like I should be in the hospital low. Thinking there was a mistake, they asked me to come back in 2 weeks and have my blood tested again. Platelet counts change in 10 days - they all "die" and are new so it's best to wait 2 weeks in between getting blood work done. 

The next set of blood work still came back low - too low. A little higher than before but definitely not in the normal range. Dr. Naylor suggested we go see a specialist or we could give it 2 more weeks and check it again. I decided to go with the latter and the results came back as low. Still. Dr. Naylor wanted to talk to me in person {gulp} about what that means. My appointment with him was yesterday. 

So my platelet count needs to come back up. We are hoping the cause of the problem is inflammation in my spleen. He prescribed me a steroid that will help with any inflammation that may be there. I guess it's like ibuprofen on steroids {HAHA pun intended}. I am supposed to take that for 4 weeks, getting my blood work done every 2 weeks. Because of the steroid, my count should go back to normal. Then I will stop taking the steroid and get my blood work done again 2 weeks later {6 weeks from now}. If, at that time, my count has started to come back down because I am no longer taking the steroid, then that means something is wrong with my spleen and we will need to look into getting it removed. GULP!!! 

My first thought, other than holy smokes, was what happens if I get pregnant? Most prescriptions are the type that if you get pregnant, a doctor will take you off of them. In this case, my doctor said we will most likely stay on it if I get pregnant. He will need to discuss that with my OB and a surgeon first but because of how much a person bleeds while pregnant I could bleed to death because my platelet count is already too low. Yeah that is comforting - not. 

I get stressed easily. Like SUPER easily. And at that point at the doctors office, I should have been freaking out and all sorts of stressed. And all I could think was "oh my gosh I am so glad we aren't pregnant yet!" Having my spleen removed is an option because we aren't pregnant. If I hadn't listened to that prompting in December to wait to start our family, we could be dealing with the risk of me bleeding to death during delivery of a little squirming bundle of joy. I am scared - don't get me wrong. But I feel so peaceful about it. I know that Heavenly Father knew what he was doing when he told me to wait on getting pregnant. I thought it was because of my health - more specifically my weight. And because I thought that was the reason, I have done something to help change that so that my weight is not going to be a factor for much longer. 

I am pretty nervous about the next few weeks though - one of the big downsides to my low platelet count has been that I get really bad bruises everywhere on my body for no reason. I think that's why my nose got so black from the nursery incident. The steroids will help that, since my count will go up. But there are some not fun side effects too - like mood swings. Yay. NOT! I feel so happy now - hopefully exercise will keep the mood swings at bay and I won't have to deal with that. I am more than likely going to get nauseous. Water retention = weight gain. Blah. But hey it's only for 4 weeks. It can't be that bad, right? 

Here is to hoping that the next 4 weeks go by just like any other and that whatever is causing my low platelet count gets fixed with this prescription! 

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

End of May means another post about my weight loss journey!!

So another month has ended, and it is time for more stats on my weight loss journey! I lost 7 lbs & somewhere around 10 inches {my book with the exact measurements is in another room and I am so not getting up right now haha}. Total weight loss is at 81 pounds! I am really starting to notice it in how my clothes fit - I have a GIGANTIC bag of clothes to donate to DI in the bonus room above the garage. I love the changes I am noticing in my mood, my weight, my body and my life. I am excited that I am going to get to eat this way and work out this way for the rest of my life - I want to feel this way for the rest of my life! 

I started eating more "clean" this month - lots more food from the fridge and not much from the pantry or freezer. I have also started eating only brown rice or whole wheat pasta. Slowly making changes, one at a time. Brynne also introduced me to hummus and OH MY WONDERFULNESS TO MY TASTEBUDS! I LOVE hummus! I eat it almost every day, whether it's on a turkey burger as the condiment or as a dip with carrots and peapods. 

This month I also started taking sweat pictures. Yes, I know that is so sick. But when I am working out and I am only sweating through my clothes a little bit, I push so much harder so that the sweat will show up for my picture. It is pushing my workouts to a whole new level! The goal is to connect the sweat dots!

After my first Zumba class with Amy at XSI - ALMOST connected the sweat dots but oh it was so fun!

After Punch Kick & Jam last week - didn't quite connect the dots
Right before ladies night at XSI! I did Zumba for the first time, along with bootcamp, PiYo & some Turbo Kick! 

After ladies night - I don't know that I have ever sweat like that before!

I love Zumba and have been doing it once a week since I discovered it at ladies night. I love to dance - I used to dance when I was younger but I haven't for several years. I look super uncoordinated but I love it! Brynne got certified in Hip Hop Hustle, a Chalene Johnson format, this month and will be teaching it at XSI soon I hope! That means I get to dance another day each week! It is such a fun cardio workout - makes me sweat but I just feel like I am having fun! I am also starting to lift weights more which is making my muscles so sore but muscle building helps build metabolism so woot woot! 

Here are some attractive pictures of me - no sweat, with make up on :) 

Love that nursery battle wound on my nose

My waist is getting smaller! WOOT!!!!
Can't wait to post about this again next month!

Swimming with my favorite nieces!

While the girls were here from Arizona last week, I got to watch them for a day! Of course, since they now live in Arizona, I thought they would love to go swimming. I was right - after a little bit of time at the firehouse park by Danny & Wendy's we went to buy floaties for Emrie and then went to the pool in my neighborhood. The girls suggested my sisters come too, and Jeannene was available so we had a sisters nieces date! 

Emrie getting in the hot tub
Kenzie & I jumping in with our game we invented - we pretend we are walking and then fall into the pool
Emrie in the hot tub
View of our awesome pool!
Love these two little girls! 
Kenzie zonked out in the backseat after swimming
Emrie unconscious in the car
Can't wait until the girls come again in a few weeks so that we can go swimming again!! 

Update in pictures!

Here is a mass dump of pictures from my phone from our summer so far!! I have got to blog more!

I gave Max a hair cut - I am getting better! 

My nursery battle wound on my nose. I got a toy accidentally thrown at me while the kids were building a pile of toys in my lap. It didn't get too big but oh it was sensitive to touch! 

Blake & Brynne at Mike & Sarah Hunt's wedding reception!

Jake & me at Mike & Sarah's wedding reception

Brynne & me at Sarah's reception

Jeannene & I before we went swimming at the Highlands pool and became lobsters! 

Popper & Jake before the Saratoga Splash Parade last Saturday

Popper in the parade - really hard to see since she is looking the other way!

My mom & me at the May birthday party for Rick, Sarah, Chris & Brynne
It's been an awesome summer so far - can't wait to see what else we do!