Friday, June 28, 2013

13 weeks - a lemon

So I have slacked on posting the weeks lately - sheesh!

Let's start at my 12 week appointment, when I was 11 weeks {a large plum}. I went in, hoping that we would get to do an ultrasound, but kinda hoping not since Jake wasn't able to come with me. He went to Camp Helaman with the Young Men {16-17 year olds} and was going to miss my appointment. Ok seriously - he went to SCOUT CAMP! GUYS! THIS IS AWESOME!! Anyway, back to the baby.

I was running late, but got there and they took me right back. "Only" gained 2 pounds so far, which is good. I don't like this whole gaining weight thing. Baby is worth it, don't get me wrong. But I cannot WAIT to get back to doing Turbo and slimming back down after the baby is here!! My midwife this visit was Dena and she said that because I am 12 weeks, we can use a Doppler and try to hear the heartbeat. I said that I thought I was only 11 weeks because of my ultrasound I had. She pulled up the ultrasound images and said that the difference was small enough that they decided to leave my due date as it originally was, so I thought I was only 11 weeks but I was really 12! YAY!!! That meant the baby was the size of a peach!

She got out the Doppler and it took a few minutes and some searching but we found little McClellan's heartbeat. It was really fast, just like it should be. I recorded a little video on my phone so I could send it to Jake. The quality on it SUCKS. Next time I gotta work on my filming skills haha. But there was a heart beat! And then my appointment was over. SUPER fast, so I am glad that Jake didn't come home from camp for that, or miss work or anything.

As of today, I am officially 13 weeks, and these 13 weeks have been awesome. I am VERY ready for the 2nd trimester though haha. I feel like I am gaining weight in my middle but not a bump, just fluff. Like I am bloated almost. Can't wait to have a baby bump. Can't wait to supposedly get more energy. Can't wait to not feel so sick {except thanks to B6 + a Unisom at night, I haven't thrown up in 11 days!}. In a week, I start my new work schedule. CANNOT wait for that. Working until 2 is gonna be AWESOME - working until 5 or 6 is a LOT harder than I thought it would be, especially since I get evening sickness, not morning sickness. My hair & my nails are both growing like CRAZY so I definitely have those extra hormones doing ME some good haha. Hoping my hair is about as long as my extensions were by the time little M gets here.

Every now and then, it just hits me that we are having a baby. Like me. I am having a baby. Like right now. Like I need to figure out where I want to deliver and all that jazz. Because this is real. I really am about to be responsible for keeping someone else alive. So surreal. And I am so scared. But then I see pictures of friends with their brand new babies and then I just get insanely excited. I'm gonna have a little person that adores ME for the first few years. Like my puppy Max but that can talk back and hug me and really give me kisses and SAY I love you. This is REALLY happening!

Last night Jake mentioned we should probably start buying diapers to store. Which I think is a great idea. And THAT made me realize we need someone to put them, so we need to clean out the extra stuff we have stored in the nursery closet. SO excited - I have my first "clean out the baby room" project!! WOOT!!!

And he may kill me later for doing this, but I just have to post this picture. When Jake left for Scout Camp, he left this super cute note on the counter for me. It is currently the wall paper on my phone. Every time I see it, it makes me want to cry all over again. He is going to be the BEST dad ever!!

When he wrote this, I was still 10 weeks, so the baby was the size of a lime

Power of the Priesthood

The day of my half marathon, I was in quite a bit of pain but I figured it was just from being sore. The next day, I woke up and couldn't walk because my foot was in SO much pain. My left foot to be exact, and it was absolutely ON FIRE. The top of my foot hurt the most, but the outer left side hurt too. I wrapped it up with an ace bandage and that did absolutely NOTHING. I walked around on the ball of my foot for the morning while I got ready and when we went to our Temple Recommend interview with the Stake President.

After our interview, we decided to go to InstaCare and see if they could X-Ray it and make sure it wasn't broken or anything. We drove down there and they were closed due to a power outage. Awesome. So we went back home, I elevated it and put some ice on it. We had about an hour to spare before church started, so I figured I could just take it easy. About this time, I also started feeling pretty nauseous.

An hour later, Jake woke me up to go to church. And I couldn't get up. My foot was in HUGE amounts of pain and I felt so sick. Jake insisted I stay home, but he wanted to go without me. OH MY WHAT?! I was SHOCKED! Seriously, he's a different person! He made sure I was all set with drinks and ice for my foot and then he left. And he stayed for all 3 hours. Guys, who is this guy that is masquerading as my husband?!

When he came home, I still felt awful but I had to hurry and get all packed for Girls Camp - we were leaving at 6 AM the next morning and everything had to be packed and loaded in the trailed that night at 7. I made myself get up and hobble around the house, wincing and crying out every time I took a step, and got all packed thanks to Jake running around the house so I could stand in one place. We took the stuff over, got it loaded in the trailer and were talking with the people around us when I felt the INSANELY strong urge to throw up. We excused ourselves and booked it home. Jake got dinner ready for us, and I couldn't eat it. NOTHING sounded good. Jake was starting to get worried and kept saying maybe it would help if I ate something.

I ate some macaroni & cheese and within 5 minutes I was throwing up in the bathroom. 2nd time I had thrown up in my pregnancy, but I felt like I was dying. I came back out, hobbling might I add, and was seriously doubting whether I was supposed to go to camp. How the heck am I supposed to hike around the woods when I can't walk in my house? How am I supposed to do hours and hours of activities without throwing up when I can't stand up more than 5 minutes without feeling nauseous? Let alone do ALL THAT for 5 days?! I told Jake I was worried maybe this was a sign I wasn't supposed to go to camp, but that I really wanted to go so that I could get to know my girls better, and because I was one of the 4 required leaders - they NEEDED me to go. Our ward would be short a person without me. Who else can take a week off their life and just go to camp with that short notice?

A few hours later, around 10:30, I was sure I was dying. Dry heaving again, but nothing would come out. And Jake was getting worried at that point. I decided I wanted a blessing, so I asked him, hesitantly, if he would give me one. He immediately said yes. My mom and I had been texting, so I told her I was getting one and she mentioned a "healing" blessing would be a great idea. I had been planning on having Jake give me what's called a "comfort" blessing. Jake hadn't ever done a "healing" blessing before, and it requires 2 people. And it's almost 11 at night!

We talked about it and decided a "healing" would work better, since I really did need my body to be healed. We tried calling our neighbor, then our home teacher, but couldn't reach anyone. Jake called his brother Clint and he said he would come over but he was in Provo and wouldn't be there for about an hour. Well I needed to go to bed, that wasn't going to work. We decided to call Greg Lovell, a friend of ours in the ward who works a night shift anyway so he was probably awake, and didn't work the next day either. He was awake and about to watch a movie with his wife, who is one of my neighborhood besties and our photographer. He said he'd be right over, just needed to get some oil first {it's used when doing a healing blessing}.

I asked Jake if we could say a prayer to help him get ready and he said he wanted to say one on his own, so he went in the other room for a few minutes and came back. Ok seriously - he wouldn't have acted that way a month ago! He REALLY is changing people.

Greg got there, we talked for a few minutes and then they gave me a blessing. Greg anointed the oil and Jake said the blessing. He didn't mention anything about the baby, but he said multiple times that my foot would be fine, that I would be able to go to camp and do everything everyone else was, and that I would be able to build relationships with the girls that I couldn't build by staying home. That I would be able to help reach the girls and become friends with them. And then he closed it. Seriously, amazing blessing. I LOVE GETTING BLESSINGS FROM MY HUSBAND!!

Greg left, and my foot still hurt but I figured it'd be ok. We went to bed and by the time it was time to get up, it already felt a little better. By the time I got some good walking shoes on it, I could barely feel the pain. I didn't feel nauseous at all. We drove to camp through a super wind-y road and I didn't get sick. I made it through all of camp {don't worry - I will do a real post about camp with the 1000's of pictures I took} and felt fine. The very last night of camp, I started feeling nauseous and threw up in the bushes but that was the only time I felt nauseous until the drive home. That drive home, I felt so sick - we had to pull over 3 different times because I was dry heaving. Didn't throw up, but had to keep pulling over. Talk about embarrassing!

It was a huge testimony builder for me that the Priesthood is real. Jake specifically said I would make it through camp, and I did. As soon as camp ended, I was back to being in pain with my foot {though nowhere near as severe as before} and spent the next 6 days nauseous and throwing up multiple times a day. But while I was AT camp, I was completely healed. I felt fine. Nothing happened to the baby - he/she made it through camp just fine. My foot was able to handle the hikes and all the walking just fine. What an amazing thing the Priesthood is! I am so grateful that Jake can give me blessings, and that Greg was available to come help. And I am SO grateful I made it through camp. It was a wonderful experience and I am so glad I got to go for all 5 days!

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Coach Summit: What coulda been

Right now, in VERY hot Las Vegas, NV, Coach Summit is happening. For those of you who have no idea what that is {probably everyone here}, it's the once yearly Coaching Convention put on by Beachbody, the creator of P90X, TurboFire, Insanity, etc. It is also where they give away $100,000 to the Beachbody Challenge Contestant who had the most inspirational story on how weight loss changed their life.

I made the goal a while ago that I was going to go there, this year. And that I was going to be the finalist for females age 19-29 for my story. And that I was going to win that $100,000. And even if I didn't win, I'd at least get $25,000 for being a finalist and getting to go to Vegas, plus the whole trip is paid for. Pretty ambitious goal, but I just knew that I could do it. I mean, I lost 125 pounds. I was unstoppable, right?!

And then, I had this feeling - what if you get pregnant?

And that made me stop right in my tracks. To win, or even qualify for that matter, you have to send a VERY current picture {with a newspaper to prove the date} showing how rocking in shape you still are. So if I got pregnant, there'd go ALL that hard work. I had to really sit down and figure out my priorities. Did I want to win this $25,000, maybe $100,000 bad enough that we would prevent  trying to get pregnant? What if we prevented, and then we didn't win? Then we'd have wasted all that time we could have been trying.

After a LOT of thought and prayer, I decided to let that dream go and that we should try and get pregnant. And then we got pregnant. And THEN the finalists were announced. So the timing would have been wrong. And being a mom is more important to me than winning that money. If I'd even been the one that qualified. The girl that qualified for females from 19-29 did TurboFire too and she lost almost 200 pounds. And is like a size 4 now. YEAH I can't compete with that haha. So it all worked out! I'm glad we didn't wait, and end up not getting qualified to go, and miss the fact that we are pregnant right now!

Yay for things working out in our favor :)

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Utah Valley Half Marathon 2013

June 8, I finished my 2nd Half Marathon. As I mentioned in this post, I signed up for this a while ago, but I am SO proud of me for actually doing it. I didn't sleep well the night before, so when the alarm went off, I SERIOUSLY contemplated not going.

HOLY SMOKES that's early!
Brynne & I had some egg whites together and then I had a glass of Orange Juice and packed some pretzels for the drive in case I got sick. And then we got in the car and headed to Provo Towne Center Mall!

Brynne is a morning person - she was WAY too excited haha
And I felt like a zombie haha!
We were worried about getting on the buses in time, but we were able to catch a bus and head up there. And yes, I got motion sick. I felt it coming and through SEVERE prayer and drinking water and eating pretzels I was able to prevent myself from throwing up. The bus ride was real quick, so as soon as we got off the bus I felt much better. The air up the canyon was pretty brisk, and that ALWAYS helps me feel better!

The line of porta-potties
ALL those people were waiting in line! Crazy!!
Getting ready to start the race!
Sitting down for our pre race ritual - watching our YouTube Video and saying a prayer together.
Ok seriously, I talk about this ALL the time on here, but if you STILL haven't watched this YouTube video yet, PLEASE go watch it. EVERYTIME I see it, it reminds me all over again why I do Half Marathon's, even though I LOATHE running. WATCH it!!

LOVE this video!!
We finished our video, said a prayer together and then got ready to go! We both went to the bathrooms one more time, and in the process Brynne's fitbit {the most high tech awesome pedometer ever} fell off and was on the ground in between two porta-potties and we could NOT reach it - the porta potties were too close together. She was bummed, but decided we should just go since the race had started!

We got our music going, and started our fast walk.

Being in the back made it so that we saw JUST HOW many people there were in the race!
These pictures just don't do justice - there were SO many people!!
And I know I thought this wouldn't be too hard - I mean it's walking. But oh man. It was hard.

My feet hurt.

My back hurt.

My legs hurt.

My knees hurt.

And we were WALKING!

By mile 9 we had to slow down a bit - my knees were throbbing. And then it'd pass and we'd walk as fast as we could until something else starting hurting. Throughout the whole race, it was only body parts - no cramping or anything indicating the baby was in distress. THANK HEAVENS!! I did feel nauseous around mile 11, so I ate my granola bar I had packed and kept going.

We walked past LaVell Edwards Stadium around mile 12!
Goal was to finish as close to 3 hours as possible. Missed that goal by a little bit - we ended up finishing at 3 hours 25 minutes. But we finished!

So happy to be done!!
Shows part of our pace - I forgot to turn it off when I crossed the finish line.
Forgot to turn the time off, but the calorie burn was AMAZING!
After the race, we hobbled out of the finish line area after getting some fruit and chocolate milk and found the car.
I love that we are both smiling because I sure didn't feel like smiling haha!
Brynne & I both immediately took our shoes off, which THRILLED Jake haha. We drove to the mall and got Brynne's car, then all met up out in Saratoga Springs at Smith's so that we could drive to our families Trek finish together. We had enough time to get something to eat, so we went to Kneaders!

Brynne's lunch!
My lunch!
After Kneaders we went and saw my family finish Trek, got some ice cream and went home. I had 3 HUGE blisters on my feet, one on the back of a foot and one on the side of each big toe. Seriously my toes looked like I had tumors on them. And I could NOT walk - I was like an old lady! Jake was teasing me so bad haha. The next day, I couldn't walk because my foot was in SEVERE amounts of pain. There will be a WHOLE different post on that though - look for that one!

I am glad I did this half, even though I got sore, even though I only walked - I can now say that I accomplished a half marathon while pregnant! WOOT!!

My family goes on Trek

After our half marathon, Brynne, Jake & I drove out to Elberta Utah to see the rest of my family finish Trek. My mom & Rick knew we were going to be there, but Jeannene & Popper had no idea!

All the families lined up waiting for them to come
Me, Brynne & Sister Julie Wallace waiting for them to come, ready with white handkerchiefs
Here they come!!
Hey I know them!!
Popper had just drawn "the trial" and had to ride on the cart because she "broke her leg". My mom & Rick were the ma & pa of her family!
Jeannene pushing her cart!
Everyone lined up as Aaron Asay, our neighbor across the street, played hymns on the bagpipes. They had to wait until he stopped before they could come see their families.
And then they all ran to us! Everyone looked SO cute in their pioneer clothes. Is that weird I like pioneer clothes haha?
We all talked and cried and then had popsicles that the Alvey's were kind enough to bring. And after that, we all wanted ice cream. Jake was mortified at the thought of walking into Simply Ice Cream with me & Brynne all sweaty from the half marathon and everyone else in their pioneer clothes, but we did it anyway. Jeannene introduced me to cake batter ice cream. HOLY. SMOKES. QUITE delicious haha! It was SUPER fun to get to be there to greet them - I am so glad we went, and I am so glad they were able to go and experience Trek!

Fathers Day 2013

This year was Jake's first unofficial Father's Day. And I REALLY wanted to get him something. I kept telling him that I wanted to buy him something expensive after he went through the temple {that's how I like to show love - buying gifts. SO bad haha} but that I knew we needed to reign it back since I will be quitting my job soon. But I couldn't resist his gift once I saw it...

He wasn't happy I bought him a gift since he didn't get me anything for Mother's Day. Oh well!
I like cards, so of course I had to get him a card.
He had fun throwing the paper at me
His "did you really buy me this?" face
An iPad mini & case! YAY!
He already has an iPad, so we don't really need a mini, but we had been talking about getting one anyway so I just figured hey why not. He is still debating on whether or not he wants to keep it - I think he just feels bad for how much it cost, but deep down he wants to keep it. Babe, really - if you want it, I want you to keep it.

After we cleaned up the mess and he started playing with it and syncing it to his laptop, we made breakfast {cereal - woot!} and then went to church. He got a gift, just like all the other dads in the ward and that made me so happy :) Everywhere we went, people were telling us congrats and we both kept saying thanks, not sure if they meant on the baby or on the temple or both haha. We posted the picture announcing we were pregnant that morning, so the word was out on both.

After church we went to his parents house for a BBQ. I called my dad and my grandpa and talked to both of them too. We are planning on mailing a card to my grandpa VERY soon - just need to get it off the counter haha and then we are doing something with my dad hopefully this weekend. Brynne is at Girls Camp this week, and Jake's little brother Clint gets married this weekend, so it'll be tight fitting Father's Day with my dad in there but we want to make sure we get time to do that with him. He is so excited to be a Grandpa, it's so cute.

Overall, it was an AMAZING day and it wasn't even a day for me haha. I just loved hearing everyone tell Jake congrats and relieving the day in my mind hundreds of times. Seriously, I am SO proud of my Jake. He is the best hubby ever and I am so lucky he picked me. And if I think he is a great husband, I can't wait to see how good of a dad he is gonna be!

The best day of my life {for now}

Last Saturday, June 15, was the best day of my entire life so far. Why? Because Jake received his endowments at the Provo Temple. And that means I got to hug my husband in the Celestial Room.
But before we get to that part, let's go through the whole day. We talked in the morning and read scriptures together, packed his temple bag and put my new dress in my bag and then just relaxed the rest of the morning. At 12, we left to get some lunch and to head to his parents house to pick up his brother Clint and his dad, who were both his escorts.
The whole car ride down, I was feeling SO nauseous.  I kept praying that it would go away before we got to the temple, because I REALLY didn't want to have to get up during the session to go lose my lunch. We got to Jake's parents house and ate our lunch and talked with his family for a few minutes, and right as we were getting ready to leave for the temple {right on time, might I add} Clint mentioned something about how he hoped his old recommend works because he got a new one for his sealing this coming Saturday and he didn't have that one with him. HOLY FETCH! I did the exact same thing - got a new one for our sealing, but had our old one with me. I called the stake executive secretary and he let me know that yep, I needed my new one. That was at our house. Back in Eagle Mountain. AWESOME!
We hurried and left Jake's parents house and booked it home, and as we were leaving Eagle Mountain and getting into Saratoga Springs, it was 1:40 - the time we were supposed to be at Provo Temple. AWESOME! I called the temple to let them know we were running late and they said to get there as soon as we could.
We made it about half hour late. I was freaking out, but not anywhere near as bad as I could have been. Thinking back on it stresses me out haha but I was pretty calm all things considered. We got there and got his records all updated and then we separated and went to change into our temple clothes. I didn't really realize we were separating for a few hours, otherwise I would have hugged him but it was really nice to see him again an hour later just as his session started.
The absolute best part was when I walked into the Celestial Room and he was already in there. I hugged him - like bear hugged him - and just started sobbing. Like I could feel my shoulders shaking I was crying so hard. He tried to calm me down at first and then just let me cry. And when I finally pulled away, he was crying too. AWWWWW!! I hugged my sister, his mom & grandma, and then had to hug him again. Then I hugged my step dad, his dad, his brother, and had to hug him again. Then I hugged my mom, my brother in law, his buddy from high school and his wife and had to hug him again. It was the best moment of my ENTIRE life getting to hug him in that setting. Seriously, AMAZING.
Please forgive my lack of make up - I knew I would be crying so I decided not to put any make up on.

Right after we walked out of the temple
Seriously I couldn't stop hugging him
Our awesome home teacher Jason Cann came. He has been a HUGE answer to prayers - I am so grateful we were assigned such an awesome home teacher!!
Jake's dad, mom & little brother Clint
Jake's family with Grandma - don't mind my finger at the top haha
Jake's whole family - dad, mom, little brother Clint, soon to be sister in law Macy & Grandma
Jake's best friend from high school Kjell & his wife Paige. They are expecting too, so we got a picture with our hands on our bellies. For some reason, I got a way goofy look haha
Us with my sister Brynne & her husband Blake
Us with my family - sister Jeannene, step dad Rick, mom, brother in law Blake, sister Brynne & sister Lauryl. Jeannene and Lauryl haven't been through the temple yet, so while they waited for us they went to a movie at the dollar theater down the road
Step dad, mom, brother-in-law & sister :)
Just us with my sisters & Blake :)
Jake and his escorts, little brother Clint & dad Danny
How we announced we were expecting on Facebook - I can't get over how much I love this picture :)
After we were finished taking pictures, we decided to all go to dinner together. Jake picked Rodizio Grill, but the wait was almost 2 hours and we were all starving so we chose Olive Garden instead. Wait was still about 45 minutes but we talked and passed the time so it was ok. Food was amazing, company was even better!

Everyone was able to come except our home teacher. So much fun!
Seriously, this was the BEST day of my entire life. Until we get sealed. And until our baby is born. Then THOSE will become the best day's ever. But for now, this is the BEST DAY EVER!

Monday, June 17, 2013


*****I found this post that I wrote on June 5th but never posted. I liked it too much to not post, so just imagine you are reading this almost 2 weeks ago.*****

Recently, I posted that Jake received his Living Ordinance Temple Recommend and that he would be receiving his endowment next Saturday at Provo Temple. Still so stinkin' excited I can barely see straight.

What I didn't realize was that because I also will be performing a Living Ordinance when we get sealed, I needed a new recommend and needed to meet with the Stake & my Bishop as well. I talked to my Bishop last Sunday and we got an interview scheduled for last night at 7:30.

I got home from work, made dinner and did dishes {we refer to it as finding the sink, since our sink will get so buried under the dishes you can't tell there is even a sink there} and then went to my interview.

We started out talking about how excited we are that Jake is ready for this, and the little things I can do to help prepare him the next week. We also talked about a pamphlet the Bishop would like him to read before his interview with the Stake this Sunday, which I already have so I just said I would have Jake read mine so that the Bishop could keep the copy he had. And then we had the interview.

When I had my recommend interview almost 2 years ago to receive my own endowment, I just remember feeling so at peace. So calm. And SOOOO joyful that I could say "yes" to all of the questions that were asked {except of course for the few that you say "no" to haha}. I came out and just felt absolute joy. It was an amazing experience.

So this time, I kept reminding myself of that and was trying to get back in that mind sight of how happy I am that I can say "yes" to the questions asked. But instead, all I could think about was how amazing I feel knowing that Jake said "yes" to those questions.

Each and every question, that's all I could think about.

The questions are things like "Do you have a testimony of the Savior?" "Do you have a testimony of the Restoration of the Gospel?" "Do you honor and sustain President Thomas S Monson as Prophet?" - stuff like that. Nothing earth shattering. And yet, Jake said yes to every single question.

I was seriously holding back tears at one point, realizing Jake said yes to all of those things. I am SO proud of him, of the man he is. He has changed a LOT since we met, but it's all in the best ways. All of the things I liked about him that I hoped would never change are exactly the same. He's the same guy I married but better. I don't know how to explain it. It's amazing to know that he can say yes to all of those things.

Jake, I am so proud of you. I love you so much!

Week 10 {and a half} - a lime

So I will be 11 weeks on Thursday, so I figured I should post my 10 week post pretty quick haha. This week, I feel pretty yucky. There are times I don't, but usually when I am awake I don't feel great. Jake & I have decided that means that's when the baby is awake haha. Fortunately, the baby "slept" really good during Jake's session so I didn't feel sick at all while we were at the temple. I'll make a separate post about that though - just gotta get around to it!

My clothes are fitting pretty tight, but I don't know if maternity stuff would fit. Gotta love that awkward phase haha. Food aversions are getting SO much worse - I pretty much just don't like food right now haha. I am trying to eat as much protein as I can stomach but nothing sounds good, like ever. That's CRAZY for me!

I really hadn't thrown up very many times until the last week - I've thrown up 4 times in a week. Definitely getting sicker. And you'd better believe every single time I throw up I sit there and say, out loud, "I love you little lime/peanut/bean" {whatever name comes to mind haha}. Every time I get whiny about feeling hot or sick or tired, Jake always reminds me how bad I wanted this and he's right - I wanted this. All of it.

Being sick this late at the end of my first trimester actually feels like a blessing. I read an article last night that Cornell published after reviewing over 80,000 pregnancies that when you are sick, there is virtually no chance of miscarriage. The article said morning sickness should really be called pregnancy insurance. And that makes me feel SOO much better, now that we've told the world we are having a baby. I'd hate to have something happen to our little lime right now. But I felt so strongly a few weeks ago that'd be fine, and I'm getting sicker, so I'm taking that as little lime is here to stay.

I keep forgetting that pregnancy doesn't last forever. At some point, I will feel like me again - I will have energy again, I will like food again haha. And when that point comes, we'll have our addition here with us. I can't wait for that!!!

I have been "replaced" at the bank haha. Leah, one of our tellers we already had, is going to be the new Vault Teller and Lindsey's New Accounts backup and Angie's manager backup. So now, we are hiring to replace Leah's current shift, which is working in the afternoons and Saturdays. As soon as that happens, Leah is officially taking over my job and I get to go to part time, just working 5 hours a day Monday through Friday. I will work from 9-2. And oh you'd better believe I am STOKED for that!! The bank just needs to finish interviews and then train the new person and I can change over - should only be another month or so. WOOT!!!!

I have my 12 week appointment in 3 days, even though I will only be 11 weeks and 1 day. That's because I am pretty sure my due date changed, like I talked about after our ultrasound. But I get to see the little lime again!! Jake wanted to come but he has Camp Helaman this week {it's Scout Camp for the 16-17 year old boys} and I am VERY supportive of him going to that, so I will just record the ultrasound so that he can see everything when he gets back home. Only 3 more days until I can see my little lime again! YAY!!!

Sunday, June 16, 2013

This one's for you, baby

It's June 7, the day before my half marathon.

After I finished my first half marathon at the end of October last year, I knew I wanted to do another one. I picked this one, just because it was a similar course, and registered the same day I finished my last race. Sore, blistered and exhausted, I knew I wanted to do it again.

I had an awesome friend tell me she wanted to do one with me, but was trying to get pregnant and was worried about what happened if she got pregnant before the race. I told her that we were trying too and that we could just be prego ladies doing it together! What she DIDN'T tell me was that she was already pregnant, or pretty dang close at the time, so now she is too far along to do this race with me. Athina, we will do a race together after we have our babies :)

When we were in St George at the end of March, I had this feeling that we might get pregnant soon and that I'd be able to do my half marathon knowing I was pregnant. I had this image in my head of wearing Jake's GoPro and filming the whole thing as I talk to the baby through the whole thing about how awesome we are for doing a half marathon. And that feeling of knowing that even though I am pregnant, I did a half marathon.

And I have NOT prepared for this half marathon in the least. And I think that is because I just knew I'd be pregnant and I wouldn't be running. I don't know how else to explain it, but I JUST KNEW I would be pregnant before this race happened. And I am! Thank heavens haha because there is no way I could jog 13.1 miles. I am ok with not setting a PR if I am pregnant, but if I wasn't pregnant and was just too lazy to train and got a slower time than last time I would be mad at myself.

I've had a few people express concern over me doing my half even though I am pregnant. First off, I am only 9/10 weeks pregnant {depends if you go off of original due date or about to be changed due date} - it's not like I am 39 weeks and ready to pop any second. Second, I plan to walk the ENTIRE thing. Who can't walk 13 miles? It isn't a race for me. I'd LIKE to be done in 4 hours so that I can get a medal. That is the equivalent of walking at a 3.3 on the treadmill. I KNOW I can do that. That's not fast at all. Third, I got my nurse midwives approval. And last but certainly not least, because I am a different person than I was 2 years ago and my baby is NEVER going to know the old me.

The me that couldn't walk up a flight of stairs without feeling winded.

The me that couldn't tie my shoes without breaking a slight sweat.

The me that didn't own a pair of walking/running shoes.

The me that couldn't buy clothes in a "regular" clothing store.

The me that Jake couldn't fit his arms around when he'd give me a hug.

The me that would eat an entire pizza by myself and still kinda be hungry.

The me that hated myself.

This baby is going to know the NEW me. 

The me that loves Turbo, more than almost anything in the world.

The me that has a slight addiction to new, florescent Nikes.

The me that could knock back a bag of carrots and a container of hummus and not realize it.

The me that wears single digit pants.

The me that will turn on music and randomly dance around the kitchen while cooking.

The me that will be playing right along side them in the park.

The me that loves this person I've become.

Goal is to complete it as close to 3 hours as possible. My last half, I did it in 2 hours 35 minutes. And that was when I was pretty close to the best shape of my life. So 3 hours is only 25 minutes slower, and I am not in as great of shape right now {sleep deprivation > desire to exercise} and I'm pregnant. I'll be thrilled with 3 hours!

Pictures to come soon!! :)


Ok I don't know if it's because I have no energy, or if it's because I know no one will see this for a few weeks, but I am having a WAY hard time blogging about the pregnancy! And that's SO bad - I want to remember all this stuff!!

Last Thursday, I had my ultrasound down at the hospital. So to preface, at my 8 week appointment, my midwife had mentioned she wanted me to go have one done at the hospital because when she did one topically, we couldn't see the baby. Said it was nothing to worry about. Which translates into Ashley being worried. I called the hospital to schedule the interview, and they asked if something was wrong with the pregnancy. "UH no... I don't think so? My doctor just wants me to have one?"

So Jake & I get to the hospital for the ultrasound and while checking in, we got asked if everything was ok in the pregnancy. Now, I am freaking out. We said yes, our doctor just wanted us to get one. We waited to go back to our room and then when the tech came to get us, he asked us the same question. GEEZ YES I SURE HOPE EVERYTHING IS OK!!!

They wanted to do an ultrasound topically and then if they couldn't see anything do a vaginal ultrasound. To do a topical ultrasound, you have to have a full bladder. If you know me, you know that I ALWAYS have to pee, even before I was pregnant. So having to intentionally hold it was absolute torture. The car ride down was torture. Sitting in the waiting room by the bathroom was torture. I was dying. So they do the topical ultrasound and can't really see anything. He thought he could see the baby, but wanted to check vaginally just to be safe. Which meant I got to go pee. Oh I was relieved {literally}!

I changed into the hospital gown and came back in the room and got all situated. The tech said he was going to look to make sure everything was in place, like ovaries and stuff, and then we'd look at the baby. Jake was absolutely fascinated watching the screen, which I loved. I was freaking out, so I just watched his face looking at the screen. And then, they saw the baby.

And I looked at the screen, and I could tell where the head was. Normally, I feel like I have no idea what I am looking at in ultrasound pictures but I totally could see it! He/she is very small, but there is definitely someone in there! It was so good to see them! They're little heart rate was around 168 BPM, which I thought was CRAZY - that's SO fast! But the tech said that's perfectly normal and that's where they want it to be!

The "bad" news is that my crown rump measurement {from the top of the baby's head to his/her little bum} is showing I was 8 weeks 1 day, when I thought I was 8 weeks 6 days. So I think that means my due date is getting pushed back by 5 days. LAME SAUCE! So I did week 8 all over again haha. But there is DEFINITELY someone in there! YAY!!! 

After we left the hospital, Jake text his mom and I text my mom and sisters the picture from the ultrasound to let everyone know there really is a little someone in there. And then we went to Chili's for dinner with a gift card we got for Jake's birthday. Dinner out is always nice, especially when it's free. What a great way to celebrate our first ultrasound!!

Week 8 {and a half} - a green olive

Today is May 28. Last Thursday {May 23} marked my 8 week mark, but I have totally dropped the ball on blogging - sorry!!

I went to my 8 week appointment last week!! First baby appointment. WOOT! I got lost at the hospital trying to find my doctor's office and I ended up walking all over the entire hospital, which wouldn't be so bad except I was wearing 4.5 inch heels. Yep I won't be doing THAT again haha. I finally found my doctor's office, got checked in, and waited for them to call me back. They got me on the scale and did blood pressure and then had me go into my room and change into a hospital gown. I read in an email I get each day to expect that, so I wasn't surprised.

One of the midwives came in along with a midwife in training. I can't remember if I told ya'll or not but I am meeting with a midwife throughout the pregnancy. They basically did a glorified pap smear and asked me some questions about how I am feeling, and then asked me if I had any questions. Um yes, lots. I asked about doing Turbo {I did it two weeks ago and was cramping WAY bad afterwards - they said no more of that}, on working out in general {got the green light - gonna be doing lots of the elliptical!}, on my maximum heart rate {they didn't say - just listen to my body}, if I can still do my half marathon in 2 weeks {yep, just be careful} and if I can still go to Girls Camp {yep, just be careful and stay hydrated}. After  I was done, they gave me a huge bag full of samples of prenatal vitamins and informational pamphlets and magazines and catalogues for baby stuff. And I got to get my blood drawn. After my whole platelet incident, I really am not a fan of getting my blood drawn. But the tech did great and only had to wiggle the needle once to get blood to come out and then I was on my way back to work. 3 hour long lunch. WHOOPS! From now on, my appointments will all be first thing in the morning haha.

They tried to do an ultra sound but the baby is too little to see anything. The midwife said that was totally normal and not to be worried, but it worried me. Even though she SPECIFICALLY said not to worry. They want to me to go to AF and do a vaginal ultrasound so they can see the baby that way {they think he/she is hiding behind my pelvic bone and that's why we couldn't see them topically}. I am playing phone tag with AF hospital trying to get that scheduled - hopefully soon because I want to see our little bean!!

I've told a few more people that we are expecting - mostly people in the ward. Still trying to get everyone to keep it on the down low though. We'll see how long that lasts. I told my boss a while ago, as I mentioned, and they have decided to hire my replacement already so that means it is really coming out at the bank that I am pregnant, since people are asking where I am going, and I'm saying I am not leaving for 7 months... Yeah you do the math on that one haha.

This morning was the first time I've thrown up. Definitely felt nauseous, but didn't throw up until this morning. Threw up twice actually. And I felt so much better after each time. Someone told me it's not like the flu - you don't feel better after you throw up when you're pregnant but I don't agree. I DEFINTELY don't want to eat the healthy stuff I was wanting to eat today though {broccoli with lunch and an apple as a snack} but I am going to try to eat some broccoli at dinner. And I am trying to eat as much protein as I can, instead of all the carbs that I want to eat. It's just getting tough - chicken and beef sound gross, so I pretty much just eat dairy. Like lots of cheese - cheese sticks are my new best friend. And milk. I am drinking SOOO much milk everyday! I didn't dislike milk before I was pregnant, but it ALWAYS sounds good now. And Orange Juice sounds amazing too - I've been drinking a lot of that too. And I didn't drink my calories before I got pregnant, so that's been weird having a huge chunk of my calories for the day go out the window real quick, but hey if it's what sounds good I'm going with it.

The only meat that sounds good is Café Rio pork. I could eat that 3 meals a day. Ok maybe not really. But really. I could eat it a LOT.

I like Spaghettio's lately, and Mini Ravioli from Chef Boyardee {my sister used to call them "pillows" when we were little}. That's my lunch of choice lately.

I still don't really like the thought of sugar, ice cream doesn't sound good or chocolate or anything. That is INSANE for me. I REALLY like sugar. I'd just much rather have a glass of OJ or some crackers haha.

I have been trying to sleep on my side and that'd interesting haha. I would much rather sleep on my tummy or my back but I am making it work because this little bean is worth it!

It doesn't feel quite real yet. So far I just feel sick with a secret that I don't want to tell in case something goes wrong. I think the ultrasound is the big ticket to helping this feel more real. Can't wait for that!!

Can't remember what I've told ya'll {seriously I'm surprised I remember my own name these days} but Jake & I both think it's a boy. And as much as I want the baby to be healthy and just feel overjoyed that it IS a baby, we both are secretly hoping it's a boy. And now that I say that, where our kids can see someday, watch it be a girl. Wonderful child, if you ever read this, we wanted you and we are so happy you were born, regardless of if you're a boy or a girl {but seriously, you're dad REALLY wants you to be a boy!}

Can't wait to post how the ultra sound goes!

Just Remember

Today is May 22, tomorrow marks 8 weeks. And I am feeling that morning sickness thing that is so commonly associated with pregnancy. I still haven't thrown up, but yesterday I was so sick that I didn't get out of bed until around 4 PM and then I just moved to the couch, where I stayed until about 8:30 when I MADE myself get up and go to the grocery store and buy some food.

Last night Jake noticed I have a little fever and that kinda got me thinking - we have a flu going around our neighborhood and I wonder if maybe I caught part of that and that's why I felt so sick yesterday? Or maybe I am just really getting hit with morning sickness. Either way, I am ok with it because this is what I wanted. I want to have morning sickness, especially since it means that in a few months I'll have a precious little one to make it all worth it. This won't last forever.

It made me think of a verse from my favorite hymn, "Come come ye saints." The second verse says:

Why should we mourn
Or think our lot is hard?
Tis not so,
All is right.
Why should we think
To earn a great reward
If we now
shun the fight?
Gird up your loins
Fresh courage take
Our God will never
Us forsake
And soon we'll have
This tale to Tell
All is well
All is well.
I get to go through morning sickness with modern medicine. I CAN go to a doctor and say I can't handle this anymore - please give me medicine. I'm just choosing to try to do it without medicine. I AM PREGNANT!! I have wanted this for YEARS! I want that "great reward" of a baby, I can't "shun the fight" now. It'll all be worth it. Just gotta focus on how wonderful life will be in January :)
The biggest thing that has me worried right now is I don't feel like working anymore, because I feel so sick. But we want me to work until the very end so that we can save as much money as possible before the baby gets here. That may mean I need to ask a doctor for some medicine. Maybe I'll bring that up tomorrow at my appointment. I'll be sure to post how my 8 week appointment goes - first doctors appointment!!! 

Week 7

As of today {May 16}, I am officially at 7 weeks. And I can't begin to count all the emotions I am feeling haha. I feel like a one woman roller coaster. I am so worried about a miscarriage, and I'm so excited to quit my job so I can stay home, and I'm so nervous to be a mom, and I'm irritable more than normal and it's just been crazy being in my head, let alone being around me.

I still haven't thrown up. Not once. Which I am totally loving, don't get me wrong. I just feel like something isn't right since I'm not sick all the time? But I read in "What to expect when you're expecting" that only a little more than half of women experience that. So less than half don't get sick at all. Made me feel better! And according to old wives tales, having an easy pregnancy means I am having a boy. I am totally ok with that :)

A lot of the food I used to like sounds gross. Like apples. I eat an apple every single day, and have for over a year. But now, they sound so gross. Berries don't sound bad. Vegetables in general sound disgusting. Chicken sounds gross. Chips sounds awesome. Crackers sound awesome. I like salty things. Sugar doesn't sound good but I've been eating it anyway. That's gotta stop haha. Water doesn't sound good at all. It doesn't taste good. And I drink close to a gallon every single day before. So that's WAY weird that I'm not drinking as much as before.

I have felt the queasiness coming once or twice but I usually just eat something and feel fine afterwards. Sometimes at night I can feel it, and I just try to sleep through it. Like I said, so far haven't thrown up. Awesome.

I've noticed that my clothes are fitting different - my pants particularly. My garment bottoms aren't fitting quite like they used to. Again, I totally didn't think I would experience that by this point. I'm not showing or anything! But according to Google & my pregnancy bible "What to expect", it's normal. Weird. I've still been able to wear my same clothes, no maternity things yet. But I can tell they don't fit quite right. Which could be from the sugar and junk I've been eating haha.

Pregnancy brain is a real thing. I locked the keys to the vault inside the vault last night at work, and it took me until this morning to realize that was the last place I saw them. I can't remember things that normally would come right to me. That's very hard for me - I don't usually write things down. I write my To-Do List down, but that's it. Now, I need to write EVERYTHING down or I will forget. EVERYTHING needs to go on my To-Do List or it will be forgotten. Already. At week 7. AWESOME!

I am so irritated all the time. Not so much at family members - I get frustrated with dishes, and laundry, and work. Hopefully I can figure out how to make that better before I go nuts, or before I blow up at people haha.

But I'm happy to be pregnant. OVERJOYED!!

Life altering...

So I am going to start this post by saying that today is May 13, 2013. And you are reading this somewhere around June 16, 2013. And if you are reading this, you may or may not have seen on Facebook that Jake & I are pregnant! Yes, you read that right.

But because we don't want to tell too many people {just in case}, I am not posting this until Father's Day, the day we plan to announce. But I have WAY too many emotions going on to not write them down, and I suck at writing in my paper journal. So they are going on the blog, and I just won't let anyone see them for another 6 weeks!

This post is all about how I found out we were pregnant. So let's start at "the beginning".

Last Sunday, May 5, Jake had a Bishop interview in the morning. He was supposed to be receiving his Temple Recommend, or so we thought. We were like 95% sure, we had talked to the Bishop and still felt like he was going to come out of the interview with his living ordinance recommend so that we could go get sealed. He went to his interview without me and came home a few minutes later, with no recommend.

It was Fast Sunday, and I had been debating on if I wanted to fast ANYWAY - 1 o'clock church just kills me on Fast Sunday haha. As soon as I heard he didn't get it, I went crazy eating everything I could find to try to make myself feel better. Didn't help, of course. I should have known that. And I was MAD. Like MAD MAD. Just kept trying to get me to calm down and it was no use - I was SUPER mad. I know LOTS of people who got their recommends MUCH faster - what on earth are we waiting for?! Jake is worthy for a baptismal recommend, so why can't he have his living ordinance one already?!

Seriously, to say I was a wreck is an understatement. I was SO upset. I told Jake that if I didn't know it would make things worse, I'd say we should cut church for the day. He was calm and just kept saying we should go. Goes to show how much he has changed - he would have jumped at the chance to sluff 6 months ago!

I finally just decided I would ignore the Bishop at all costs and just suck it up and go. We walked in and there were NO seats on the benches, at all. And we weren't late. That should have been my first inclination that there were baby blessings, but I didn't pick up on it until Jake mentioned that one of the counselors in the Young Men's presidency was blessing his baby today. They announced over the pulpit that there were going to be 2 baby blessings. No big thing.

Or so I thought.

RIGHT before they blessed the first baby, I said a quick prayer that my heart would be softened enough to get through church and actually feel the Spirit, because I knew it would help me feel better. And then they started the blessing. And I can't remember what they said. All I remember is I was sobbing. Like shoulder shaking sobbing. I reached in my bag and pulled out a handkerchief I keep in there from my Grandpa's funeral and just lost it. As soon as the first blessing was done, I snuck out {after getting a crazy eyed expression from Jake at my tears} and went in the bathroom. And I just collapsed and was crying as quietly as I could in case anyone came in.

I had a VERY strong feeling a month or so ago that we would get pregnant after we got sealed, thanks to a paragraph in my patriarchal blessing. And after reading that, I felt so much better. We just needed to get sealed, and the baby would come. Well, sealing was supposed to be coming and no recommend. And I was just devastated. Didn't the Bishop know my children are waiting for that piece of paper?!

I came out of the stall and was HORRIFIED at what I looked like. My eyes were almost swollen shut{ok not quite but it was bad} and they were BLOODSHOT. And I had NO make up on anymore. I was trying to clean my face off and one of my Young Women came in the bathroom. Awesome. She was like "yeah we need Kleenex too" and walked out. Awesome - someone is going to know now. I composed myself as best I could and went and sat next to Jake. He took one look at me and said "you need to go home".

We quietly argued for a few minutes about whether or not I should stay and ultimately decided I should go. I was sitting behind my good friend Janaca, who is the 2nd Counselor in the YW's, so I asked her if she would cover for me because I needed to go. As soon as we were done taking the Sacrament, we left to go home.

Jake got me situated on the couch, where I continued to cry and moan and whoa is me for a while. And then he went back to church. Without me. Seriously people, Jake is a different person.

While he was gone I was texting my mom and sister and being incredibly whiny about how we were never going to get sealed. They were both trying to encourage me but it wasn't working. Things like trusting in the Lord and on His timeframe. Well, I have 2 righteous desires and I am not getting either of them. That's dumb. Later that night, right before I went to bed, I was walking past the laundry room and I just got this feeling like "so what if My timeframe is only off of yours by a few weeks? What if you're pregnant right now?"

I immediately pulled out my phone and looked to see when my period was supposed to start. That day. So not late. Totally wrote the feeling off.

Tuesday, I still hadn't started. I mentioned it to Jake and we decided I should take a test. When I got off work {I worked a short day} I went to Smith's and bought a test. And took it in the Smith's bathroom. Negative. Well there goes that feeling from Sunday.

By Thursday I still hadn't started. I mentioned it to a friend at work and she suggested to take one Saturday or Sunday if I still hadn't started. I knew I couldn't wait that long, so I stopped at Wal-Mart and bought one Thursday night. I got everything ready so I could take it first thing Friday morning, since your hormone levels are stronger in the morning and you have a better chance of a positive.

Friday morning I woke up {5 days late} and took the test. I walked out of the room and started getting ready for the day, and then came back in when the timer went off. And it was positive.

Yeah, it was positive.

Oh. My. Gosh.

I walked out of the room, and then walked back in again. And walked out again. And walked in again. And then I looked in the bathroom mirror and just starting bawling. And I went back in our bedroom and fell down on the side of the bed and started saying a prayer of gratitude. This really happened. I am really pregnant.

But maybe the test was wrong. Maybe I got a false positive.

So I went in the kitchen and got a HUGE drink of water and drank it as fast as I could, refilled it, and drank it again. And then I finished getting ready for work while I waited.

And I took a second test. And it was positive.

Oh my gosh. FREAK OUT MODE!!!!

I text Jake and asked him when he was planning on coming home, or if he was going golfing right after work. Plan was to go golfing right after. Shoot!! I thought I was going to die waiting to tell him. It almost slipped through text but I stood firm and I knew I wanted to see his face when I told him.

I went to Wal-Mart before work and started looking for some way to tell him that was kinda creative. I found a really cute onesie that says "Crib $350 Diapers $14.95 Pacifier $2.99 Daddy's expression when changing my diaper... Priceless!" and I found some cute bibs for my mom & Jake's mom that say different things about being a grandma. I also got some Mother's Day cards and took everything home and hid it in my car, except for the onesie - I put that in my purse.

He came to take me to lunch and the plan was to go to Kneaders. We walked out the doors and he opened the truck door for me, and then walked around the truck to get in on the drivers side. I hurried and pulled the onesie out of my purse and put it on his seat. He opened the door and just stared at it. And then the reaction went something like this...

"Are you serious?"
"You took the test without me?"
"Yes, I took it before you went golfing, before I called and asked you to come home."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes" {showed him the test picture}
"Holy sh** you're really pregnant?"
"Yes - be excited!!"
"I can't breathe right now!"

Trying not to throw up haha
Trying to smile haha
Our family is getting an addition!!
We went to Kneaders for lunch and he didn't eat anything. At all. He just kept staring at me and saying the due date {January 3rd} over and over again. He hadn't slept all day and was pretty tired, so he decided to go home and lay down but he knew he wouldn't be able to get any sleep because his mind was working in overdrive. It's Jake - that's a perfectly normal reaction for Jake haha. Right before he left to go home, he told me "I'm excited - I really am. Just scared and caught off guard." I know babe, and I am scared too.

The rest of the day at work was normal, just trying hard to not slip and tell anyone. I have been training to temporarily replace Lindsey, our main new accounts rep, who is also pregnant, so that I could cover her while she is on maternity leave. Well, we will only have a month where I am here and she isn't. After that, we are both gone. So that plan won't work after all haha.

I told the girls at work today {May 13}. I had wanted to wait until next Thursday {the 24} because that's the day of my 8 week appointment with a certified Nurse Midwife in Orem, but I couldn't keep it in anymore.

I am scared that something is going to happen - that I am going to have a miscarriage, or that I am not really pregnant, or something. Especially since I don't feel sick. I can kinda feel nausea, or something, sometimes but if I eat a little something it goes away. Just trying to make sure that I am not reaching for cookies every time that hits haha.

I'm just a bundle of nerves. Jake and I were talking last night about how I need to calm down and relax a little. Easier said then done haha. I'm a worrier by nature, but if I am like this for 33 weeks we'll all go nuts. Gotta relax and just trust the Lord and His plan for me. And pray, hard, that I will get to keep this baby.