Thursday, November 21, 2013

Tomorrow - just one day away

Tomorrow is my last day of working at the bank. After putting in my notice 6 months ago {yes, I gave 6 months notice} it is insane to me that the time has already come for my last day working here. To be honest, I am getting pretty scared. Part of me was debating the other day on changing my last day to a few weeks from now, rather than leaving now, but I feel good about leaving at this time. My nesting "desires" are kicking in big time and it'll be nice to be able to focus more on prepping for princess and not trying to find time when I get home from work and I'm tired.

We've been doing GREAT on establishing our Emergency Fund and have either 4 or 5 months worth of expenses saved. So we could make it for 4-5 months if Jake lost his job and be totally fine. Our goal is to have 6 months worth, and we will hit that goal just after the New Year, at the latest. Then, we are going to make a mini emergency fund for our cars, just a few thousand for car repairs or new tires or whatever car repairs come up so that we have money set aside for that and can leave our real emergency fund ALONE.

Having all the math done on paper makes me feel better about leaving my job - we can totally do this on Jake's job. But still, the worrier part of me is petrified something will happen. But that's why we prepared and have our emergency fund. And I know how hard of a worker Jake is - if something were to happen and he lost his job, I know he'd find a new job pronto, even if it's flipping burgers at McDonald's. He has an amazing work ethic and I know he will make sure we are taken care of. And we are going to be fine.

And yet I am mentally having a really hard time leaving my job. I love my job. I love the company I work for, I love my co workers, I love my customers. I just love my job. I came here in 2010 during a pretty dang low spot in my life and the bank has been a wonderful part of my life ever since. Even though I switched branches, I immediately loved the customers and co workers at my new branch. I truly have loved my job, so it makes it that much harder to leave.

But I know I'm going to love my new job even more.

Am I scared for this new job? OH MY GOSH YES!

What the heck am I doing?! How am I supposed to take care of another human being?! How am I going to function on no sleep? And still be a nice wife, that cooks and cleans and makes sure my husband has clean clothes to wear? I'm PETRIFIED!!

But I know, with absolutely every single part of me, that I will not ever regret staying home with our kids. Yes, I am "old fashioned" in wanting to be a stay home wife and mom with ALL of my kids, not just my second or third child. Yes, I know that I could totally continue working if we needed the money. I wouldn't want to, but I could do it. And I'm grateful I don't have to. I'm grateful that I GET to be a stay home mom, with our first child.
Grateful isn't even the right word for it. I am grateful to infinity for Jake and how hard he works, and how supportive he is of me staying home. He has not, even for a second, suggested that I should try to keep working. He has told me if I want to work he will support that {he's very awesome at letting me make my own choices}, but he never told me that I either HAVE to work or I HAVE to stay home. But throughout our whole marriage, whenever the "talk" of kiddos came up, we both always thought it would be nice for me to stay home.

Tomorrow is my last day at the bank. And then I'll have a "new boss" that I get to meet in 6 weeks and "new co-workers" in Max & Jake that I already love more than anything. I'm nervous for the changes, but I'm also excited. I'm grateful for the reassurance I have that I am doing the right thing in staying home. I just hope all my anxiety goes away at some point soon!

1 comment:

  1. I'm so excited for you!! I think it's so neat you'll be able to stay home and that you guys have everything figured out. I didn't get that with Jordan! I also love that your last day is tomorrow. It will be so nice to have time to yourself before your little girl is here! Good luck!!