Monday, October 1, 2012

Not the Norm...

I feel like ever since I started exercising, I have been a pretty positive person. Well not today. I took too long making breakfast, which set me behind in getting ready for work, which made me a few minutes late for work and I just was stressed and feeling 10 minutes late all day long. I finally started feeling better and a little less stressed when I went to lunch around 1:30. And that's because I started thinking about how we are getting ready to have a baby!!

I have seriously been debating whether or not to talk about this on the blog, in case we end up not being able to get pregnant right away. But as of today, I decided to talk about it {you'll see why at the end}. We decided to go off birth control at the beginning of September, 9 months ahead of the "plan" of next summer. We were planning to do 2 or 3 months of condoms, to let me body adjust from going off birth control and then start trying. Through the temple dedication last week and praying about it, we decided to start trying right now. We talked about it last night and decided that as of last night, it's official - we are "trying" to have a baby!!

And then I got a phone call today that changed all that from my Dr. My white blood cell levels aren't where they should be. AGAIN. I talked about it in another post, click here to read it. But everything got better after I took that dumb medicine and then I went off the medicine and everything stayed fine but he wanted to check it one more time to be sure and my count is dropping again. So guess what that means? I get to go see a specialist on the 19th of this month to discuss surgery to remove my spleen. Which means I will need a flu shot, bare minimum, for the rest of my life every single year. I hate shots. I never get sick. And this will change ALL of that. And worst of all, it means NO trying to get pregnant anytime soon. Because giving birth causes lots of bleeding, there is a chance I could bleed out and die because of how low my blood count is. Awesome huh? That isn't a scary thought AT ALL. And now we have to wait to try to have a baby. SO FREAKING LAME!!

The good news is that I am working full time at a job I love that keeps my brain occupied. And it is providing me with the chance to save, save, save in preparation for when we have a baby so that I can stay home and be a mom. And I can get insurance through my job, if we end up deciding its worth it, to help cover how expensive the next few months can be with my specialist visits and potential surgery. And I have an amazing husband and supportive family to help me get through this. It just sucks that I felt so strongly like it was time to start trying to have a baby, and then the NEXT DAY it all changes!!

The other good news is that we are going to be a little longer than I thought before we get sealed in the temple - closer to around 6 months. I wanted to be sealed before we get pregnant, but after how strongly I felt yesterday that it was time to get pregnant, we decided to start trying now and see what happens. So at least now, if I do have to have surgery, we will be sealed before we get pregnant because this is going to be a few months process. GAH so freaking lame. I am so mad. And I am trying to understand how the heck I got one answer yesterday and then the door slammed in my face today. But Heavenly Father has a plan and I just can't see it and I need to trust in Him because it will all work out the way that it is supposed to. I just want to have a baby right now!!!

As more things come up, I will be sure to keep the blog updated with my lovely blood count issue!

No comments:

Post a Comment