Based on a children's book

When I was younger, my mom would always read me this book on days when I was really whiny - it's called "Alexander and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day".

If you have not read this book, I highly recommend that you do - it's very fun and helps make things not seem quite so bad. This past Thursday, I got to live my very own version of this book! It's funny to look back at now, but at the time it sure didn't seem very funny!!

So the day started out normal, maybe even great - had a good day at work, had an awesome hair day, and got home from work and decided I didn't want to make dinner. I asked Jake if it would be ok if we ordered Cafe Rio, and of course he said yes - we love Cafe Rio. My sister Popper has been staying with us, so I asked her what she wanted, ordered it over the phone and then she went with me to go get the food.

On the way down, I suddenly realized the semi in front of us had slammed on their brakes. I slammed on my brakes and switched lanes to avoid hitting the back of the truck. Now, I need to mention I was in Jake's Mazda 3 - if I wrecked that thing he might be more worried about the car than me. And I am only kind of kidding - he loves his Mazda. So back to nearly rear ending a semi. I was able to make it into the other lane and realized why he had slammed on his brakes - another semi had jack knifed in the middle of the highway and was blocking all 4 lanes of traffic. So we waited for him to get out of the way, which took a few minutes but was good because I got to catch my breath and slow my heart from beating out of my chest and we continued our drive.

I did a transfer on my iPhone from our savings to our checking to pay for the food and realized the transfer didn't work, even though it said it had been completed. I tried it again, and same thing - I get a confirmation that it worked but the money didn't move. I went to an ATM and tried to withdraw the money directly from savings and apparently my ATM card isn't set up for savings withdrawals - just checking. So I am sitting in the parking lot of Cafe Rio trying to figure out how I am going to pay for the dang food when we drove all the way to AF to get it! I called Jake and had him pull up the bank account on a computer to do the transfer. He tried it and same thing - it said it worked, but the money didn't move. We talked about how we were going to fix this, since the bank was closed and the customer service department is not available after 6 PM - there was no one I could talk to to fix it! Then all of the sudden Jake realized that the transfer worked, 3 different times. Gotta love technology!! So we get off the phone and I go inside to pick up the food and then...

My card declined. I absolutely hate it when my card declines - it is the most embarressing thing ever. And I knew there was money because the transfer had finally worked. So she tried it a few times, and it kept declining and I was getting ready to be hysterical and freak out so I called Jake and had him log into the online banking again to make sure the transfer had really worked. The money was there - so we tried the card one more time. Same thing - decline. So she ended up getting a managers approval to let us take the food and pay the next day {apparently we order in that often that they trust enough that we won't steal money!!} and we left. I was so embarresed - I wanted to pay for the food, not take it! I was pretty much holding back tears the whole drive home. My sister and I get home, she set all the now cold food out and I went to get Jake so that we could eat. He wakes up and goes to wash his hands in the spare bathroom and THEN...

He came out and asked Popper {my sister} if the water had been working for her {since that was the bathroom she was using to get ready for school}. She said yep, she has been using it all week with no problems. Jake tries to turn on the shower, the sink and flush the toilet - nothing. So he goes in the kitchen and turns on the tap - nothing. No water. Anywhere in the house. So now I am really freaking out and Jake won't eat anything because he wants to see what the problem is. Finally he sat down to eat and we hurried and scarfed our food down and then I called a few people from our ward that lived in the same development but not the same street - they all had water and suggested maybe our pipes were frozen. It didn't seem to be cold enough - we have definitely had colder days so we kept thinking that wasn't the problem. I called the emergency utility hotline and left a message letting them know our water wasn't working and that we just wanted to make sure nothing was wrong with our utilities account. We pay the bill every month, early, but we pay it through online banking so I was worried maybe the check got lost in the mail. But the lights were still on, so they couldn't have turned our utilities off. Then we were worried that maybe they had turned the water off for the street and just not told us {or that they knocked to tell us and Jake was asleep and didn't hear it}. The guy from the city called us back and said he would come take a look at it. Jake went down to the basement a few times where the water line was and tried turning it off and on - no pressure or sound was coming through at all. The guy from the city came and used a blow torch thing on the pipes in our man hole in the drive way. He said he didn't know what the problem was and then left. And then the water came back on. So apparently the pipes must have froze - we still don't know what happened. But the water came back on - happy joy.

I went to the kitchen to throw away the Cafe Rio containers and realized I had stepped in something wet... I looked down at my sock and it was covered with green chunky stuff - Max had thrown up. On the carpet. And I stepped in. At this point I don't know how I didn't start crying. I think I may have screamed a little bit though - like a mad scream, not a scared scream. Jake looked at it and kinda laughed. It was funny I'll admit but at the time it was NOT funny. I took my socks off, put them in the dirty clothes and cleaned up the floor.

I stood up to put the washcloths in the sink and decided to get the nail grinder for Max's nails because he was chewing them pretty bad and his "quick" was showing on a few of his nails. I got the drummel - which is brand new, with brand new batteries - and it wouldn't turn on. Because the brand new batteries were dead. Of course. So I threw away these dang brand new C batteries which aren't cheap but hey whatever thats how my day is going and then I walk back into the living room and STEPPED IN MORE DOG BARF!!!!!! He had thrown up by the door too, and apparently I hadn't seen it before and stepped in with my bare feet. I cleaned it up, cleaned off my feet, and then I went to bed - I had enough for one day.

And that is the story of Ashley and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.