Sunday, January 8, 2012

It's been a while...

It has been QUITE a while since I last bore my testimony in Sacrament Meeting but I changed that today! I missed church last week and as it was the 1st, I assumed last week was Fast and Testimony meeting. Imagine my surprise to arrive today and find out it is actually today!

I debated in my seat for a while if I really wanted to bear my testimony or not and was sure by the time they blessed the Sacrament that I should bear my testimony. I said a quick prayer that I would know what to say and that I wouldn't trip on the way up to the podium {I chose to wear some of my taller heels today and I was sitting in the VERY back}. The Testimony portion of the meeting started and I stayed in my seat, listening to the testimonies of those around me and trying to figure out what I would say in my testimony.

And then, I realized I was walking up to the podium. I must have really heard the Spirit inside because I got up and started walking without realizing it. I reached the podium without tripping {SIGH OF RELIEF!} and sat down to wait my turn. The only thing I knew I wanted to say was to introduce myself. When it was my turn, I walked up and introduced our family and said we had moved into the ward at the end of July. And then the Spirit took over.

I spoke about the Cherokee house {click here to read about that} and how I had really wanted that house and was almost bitter it hadn't worked out and that I now realized it hadn't worked out because we needed to be in this ward, at this time. I also talked about how much I love our Bishopric, how grateful I am for the Atonement and for so many temples nearby, and how much I love my amazing husband and our families. I closed my testimony and returned to my seat and really started to think about what I had said.

I think about the Cherokee house a lot. Like too much. Every now and then, I go so far as to imagine how we would have decorated it. It had more wall space in some rooms than our house does and that is the main thing I would concentrate on - all that extra space in the living and family rooms. And the kitchen had an island which means more counter space. As you can tell, I really remember the layout and floor plan of a house we looked at twice. A year ago. Twice. Whenever I start to wonder what if, I always make myself focus on things I love about our house - that it is a rambler, it's a few hundred sq ft bigger than the other, our house such nice cabinets in the kitchen and bathrooms, the amazing master bath, etc. Usually that works and I stop wishing we had got the other house.

So back to my testimony today. I never had felt before that we needed to be in this ward so badly. I got an answer to my own "unasked" question while bearing my testimony to those who I apparently needed to have in my life! As I sat pondering that and continue to think about it, I am truly grateful for the answer I got. We don't always learn why the Lord has things to work out the way they do, but I have been given an answer that helps me understand the reason {or part of the reason} the Lord wanted us in this house.

I truly do love our ward and am so grateful for the chance we have to be a part of it. I have felt so welcomed and truly love being here. And I truly, truly love our home. I love coming home to its warmth, both literally and figuratively. I love how easily the Spirit can be felt in our home. Our home is truly a Heaven on earth for Jake, Max and me and this all occurred to me because I chose to follow the promptings of the Spirit and bear my testimony :)

1 comment:

  1. We love you Ashley, and love your spirit. We are so glad that you are in our family.
    Love Mom and dad McClellan