Change #2 - I'm not doing Insanity after all. I did it 3 days last week, which included the Fit Test, Plyometrics Cardio & Power Resistance or something like that. And I did it, but I hated it. Like seriously hated it. And that's ok - sometimes you need to hate a workout to get your body to insane places with your fitness. Except that isn't my goal. Yeah I want to lose another 20 pounds, yeah I want to tone up. But I am not wanting to be the next Olympian. I just want to be healthy. And for me, Insanity is not the right tool to get me there. I don't look forward to it. AT ALL. I barely slept Sunday night because I was so nervous for doing it on Monday and I think that contributed to me getting sick. I was stressed about it all week, after a workout I felt guilty for not pushing myself harder, and by Thursday I realized that exercise is not my "escape" anymore - it's a chore. I dread it. And that won't help me with my depression. The reason I was able to go off of my anti depressants is because of exercise - it helps me stay calm and it's my therapy. But Insanity is not therapy for me. So time for it to GO! In a way, I'm bummed that I am quitting the program, but at the same time I am doing the right thing for me. And that's what matters when it comes down to it.
Change #3 - I looked into it, and to return Insanity I also have to return Shakeology because I bought it as a challenge pack. I can re buy Shakeology on its own, but I would have to send this bag back. And that got me thinking - and yeah I am just going to stop drinking Shakeology. I am so back and forth on this. I make up my mind, and then change it, and then change it again. But Jake & I talked and weighed the pros and cons and I am just going to stop drinking it. Shakeology is an awesome meal replacement shake - it has amazing nutrients in it and tastes awesome. But it's $125 a month. That's a TON. There are a lot of other things I would rather do with that money. And I read in Skinny Meg's blog {seriously LOVE her blog!} the other day that she isn't big on drinking shakes because she likes to eat her calories. That totally hit home for me! I gained so much weight because I like food. That isn't ever going to change - I love food. And my Shakeology, with fruit and such added into it, is around 300 calories. I could eat a piece of fruit, a huge bowl of air popped popcorn and greek yogurt for the same amount of calories as a drink. I like to chew my food. And I want to save money. So yeah, Shakeology is going back. I can lose weight without it. I just need to have some discipline in my eating and Shakeology won't do it for me.
Ok onto less serious things - I feel like I just confessed that I am an utter failure. I quit Shakeology. I quit Insanity. Part of me feels like a quitter. But I'm not quitting because it's hard. I'm quitting because it isn't a good fit for me. I still feel awful for quitting though. I am just having a weird day. I'm just irritable today so whatever - I won't beat myself up too bad about it.
 |
| That sounds REALLY good right now haha |
 |
| My frozen yogurt from the weekend before last {after family pictures} |
Weigh in today was 170. Down a pound from last week. Would have been more but I didn't eat so great over the weekend - I haven't been feeling good AT ALL and it made me crave junk {I always want cereal when I don't feel good}. Ready for this feeling of being down to go away. Ready for the scale to move more. Stay tuned for next Monday's post!!
No comments:
Post a Comment