Tuesday, November 29, 2011

My Orchid

Today, I finally felt up to cleaning the house and was in the office filing some things when I found my scriptures from seminary. I had a whole bunch of "glue ins" in there - quotes that went along with scriptures that we discussed. One that really stuck out to me was in D&C - I don't remember the section unfortunately. The "glue in" was talking about the importance of journal writing and that Heavenly Father has commanded us to keep journals and records of things that are important to us in our lives. It made me realize how grateful I am that I have got back into blogging so that I could keep a record of what is going on with our families. Then I realized I haven't written - in my journal or on my blog - about my orchid.

My beautiful Orchid Jake gave me August 17, 2011
I had a dream last month and woke up really upset. To calm down, I wrote a post about Jake (click here to read it) and how grateful I was for him. Here is what happened in the dream, since the post doesn't talk about the dream.

I was in a store, like a grocery store, with a guy that wasn't Jake. The person that I was with worked there, and we were holding hands and kissing. I remember thinking that Jake and I were married and I was confused about why I was holding someone else's hand, but that didn't stop me from holding this person's hand. I remember he had a really nice car - no idea what it was haha but I remember thinking it was a really nice car. He had just finished his shift at the store and we were going to go get some dinner in his car. As we walked toward the doors, we passed the floral section of the grocery store. I said something about how pretty the orchids were and he picked one up and said that he would get it for me. I looked at it and we both realized it was dead, so he put it down and picked up another one and handed it to me. It was alive, but it was limp and had no blossoms on it. We walked out of the store and got in his car. As we drove out of the parking lot, I saw Jake. He was walking in the store, alone. His shoulders were slumped and he looked so sad (remembering this is making me cry - I hope I never see Jake look that sad). He looked up as the car went by and he saw me sitting in the passenger seat. He looked at me, and a little smile came on his face before we left the parking lot. I looked down at the orchid sitting in my lap, and realized it wasn't as pretty as the orchid I had at home (Jake gave me an orchid for our 2nd anniversary, so I really did have an orchid at home). I decided right then that I was going to "break things off" with this other guy and go back to Jake.

I woke up and was bawling. Jake works graveyards, so I was in bed alone. I texted him, just to reassure myself it was all a dream, and then blogged about how grateful I am that Jake chose me to be his wife. So fast forward to today - when I was cleaning the house. After I read the scripture about journal writing, I put my scriptures away and walked into the kitchen and saw my orchid. It is still alive (that is seriously amazing for me - I kill plants so fast) and just had a new blossom on one of the branches yesterday. Ever since that dream, I can't look at my orchid without smiling and thinking of Jake. I think I had that dream because I had been thinking and preparing to go to the temple and was wishing Jake could go with me. For a minute, I think a part of me was thinking my life would be "better" if I had married someone in the temple, but I know that isn't true. Yes, I want to be sealed to my husband in the temple, but Jake is the man I am supposed to be with and that I want to be with. And I know that someday, we will be sealed. I am so grateful that I have the "orchid" I do - he is the best "orchid" I could ever ask for.

No comments:

Post a Comment