Get a grip!

This is a blunt post, just warning you now. I read this awesome book called "Eat Clean" by Tosca Reno. It's a "diet" about how the foods you eat can hurt or help you, blah blah. I already knew all that. The awesome things about this book are how they teach you WHAT to eat, and what to eat it with. I was missing that second step. And I wasn't eating healthy fats, because I figured they are fats and I should avoid them as much as possible. Since I starting "eating clean" on December 26, I feel AWESOME. Seriously, it's crazy how a little tweak from how I was already eating can make such a big difference. The downside to that is though, that my body feels SO good from how I am eating most of the time, and then I have one of my "fall off the band wagon and eat everything in sight moments" and then I feel super sick for a really long time. Like days. Before it was only a few hours. Now that my body is only getting clean things {for the most part} it is REALLY pushing back when I binge. Which is good. I need to feel sick to help me not want to binge anymore. So far though, it isn't working like I thought it would.

And if you are rolling your eyes thinking that I don't know what a binge is, trust me - I do. Friday night, I decided to eat an ENTIRE box of chocolate cocoa puffs or something for dessert. A WHOLE FLIPPING BOX! First off, I cannot believe I am telling this to anyone. It's insanely embaressing. #2, I can't believe I actually did that. Ok, 1 bowl is cheating. 2 is super naughty & I am going to regret it. It ended up being liek 4 or 5 bowls! And I was absolutely INHALING it - like I thought that if I stopped to chew I might change my mind about if I really wanted to eat it {which is exactly what would have happened} and I just kept inhaling. I have GOT to figure out what the heck is going on with me and binging on the weekends. I do some sort of binging almost every single weekend. EVERY SINGLE ONE! And I feel SO sick on Sunday, and all week I bust my butt working out to "sweat" it out and I eat SUPER healthy to get the feeling to go away and then I just suck again on the weekends!

I thought that eating all these healthy fats would help, since it's foods I already love anyway - avocados, guacamole, peanut butter, almonds, etc. but I am still feeling the urge to eat a whole box of cookies, 10 brownies, whatever on the weekends. 95% of the time I want sugar. Occasionally I want salty carbs - Doritos, ffrench fries, etc. but for the most part I just want sugar. And I don't know what to do to help myself get a grip on how HORRIBLE that is for my body! It shocks your metabolism in a very bad way to do that, and I know that, and I do it over and over again. And I eat a ton of calories everytime I do it!

Brynne mentioned that one of her New Years Resolutions is to write down everything she eats, regardless of how much it is or whatever. Not to lose weight necessarily - to admit to herself what it is that she is eating. And that is SO what I need to do. So here I go - starting today I write down EVERYTHING I eat, binge or not, before it goes in my mouth. During the week, I am AWESOME at doing this. During the weekends, when I am inhaling my pantry, not so good at this. The good news is that we got rid of almost all junk in the house. And we are cutting back on the budget so we won't be eating out anywhere near as often. Hopefully those two combined with making myself write down what I eat will help me get a grip on my eating so that I can stop binging. That is going to land me back in a size 24 jean if I'm not careful!

You can't out run a bad diet. Losing weight and changing your body is 80% diet and 20% exercise. I have the exercise down - I love Turbo, I love to lift. I like my elliptical. I tolerate running. I have GOT to get the whole eating thing down. I need to learn that if I decide to splurge, I eat ONE. That concept is totally lost on me. I have always been an all or nothing person - I either eat none, or I eat the whole box. And I am GOING to figure out how to enjoy treats occasionally without making myself sick & momentarily pre-diabetic from all the sugar.

Yeah embarassing to say the least but hey, maybe having to tell someone about this will help me come to terms with the fact that the weekends are dangerous for my waistline. Time to find something to do to help combat that! I'm going to try brushing, flossing & using mouth wash on my teeth right after eating so that I won't want to undo everything I just did to help my teeth, and just drowning myself in so much water that I don't have room in my stomach for all the junk I momentarily want to put in my body. For some reason, washing my face seems to help me not want to eat junk too - maybe it's when I see the breakouts without any make up covering them. I will keep you posted on what tricks I try to help me overcome this. Because I am DONE with this behavior & my body deserves better!!