Just Random Things

Yesterday, Old Navy had a pretty good online sale. 30% off with free shipping on purchases over $50. I have been eyeing a few things on their site lately and just kept telling myself I was waiting for a sale. Well, sale came. And I caved and bought some stuff.

I feel like Maternity clothes are expensive. And I had been pretty strongly of the opinion I wasn't going to buy anything. Or absolute bare minimum. I don't want to spend tons of money on clothes that won't fit me for very long, since I am planning on jumping right back into Turbo as soon as the doctor gives me the OK once little M is here. And in pregnancies to come, I don't know what size I will be. Since I had gained about 25 pounds before I even got pregnant, I am hoping to start out pregnancy number 2 at a smaller size. So I REALLY don't want to invest too much in clothes for this pregnancy.

But at the same time, I haven't felt like myself. I feel like my clothes don't fit right and I hate looking in the mirror. Looking in my closet is a reminder that I am getting fat because all my cute "skinny" clothes are too tight right now. And I AM PREGNANT for heck sake. I shouldn't feel like I am fat! I wanted this! I knew I would gain weight, and I still wanted this. That's why I lost weight first - so that I could practice healthy habits and have a smaller starting point. And yet I am mad at myself that I am gaining weight.

And yeah, I'm only 13.5 weeks. And supposedly that's too early to show. But every single time I go in to the doctor, they have to look REALLY low to find the baby, which makes me feel better that I am noticing clothes not fitting right if I am carrying so low. That's an area where my pants were perfect before, so ANYTHING additional down there would make my pants tighter. Either way though, I don't feel so attractive right now.

So I caved and bought some maternity clothes. I had my hesitations because I'm not very far along and don't need full blow maternity clothes yet, but a friend at work told me they fit just like normal clothes, they just have room to give at the top. So I don't have to be 6 months pregnant to benefit from maternity clothes. So I bought some stuff.

I bought 2 shirts, a dress that I plan to wear after our sealing for pictures, a pair of capris to get me through our SMOKIN hot summer we are having, a pair of work pants so that I don't have to wear a skirt EVERY SINGLE DAY and a pair of jeans to get me through fall and winter, since that's when I will be the biggest. I also found 3 really cute shirts at Ross for SUPER cheap over the weekend and I like those, but they still feel a little big on me. It's nice having something be big though when it seems all my other clothes are too small.

Right now, I just keep telling myself that I need to quit whining. Work has been hard because I get sick in the afternoons and I am just REALLY ready to work part time, which starts NEXT WEEK! WOOT!! I AM ALMOST THERE!! I feel fat. I am tired. And while those are valid things to feel, it's not ok to whine about them. No one likes a whiner. And this IS what I wanted. I prayed, HARD, for this.

Favorite quote right now!

I have also started making dinner again! Seriously, that is a CRAZY concept at our house. Because I tend to feel sick at night, Jake has been fending for himself a LOT. Or we get take out. A LOT. And I think we are both sick of it. Last week, I spent a few days looking through addresses pinned on Pinterest and talking with girls at week and came up with a menu for a month of a different recipe every night. Most of these are recipes that 6 months ago, I wouldn't have eaten because they weren't as "clean" as I was trying to eat. That also isn't real life - I can't eat AS strict as I was for the rest of my life - I think that's why I was binging so much. And we also ate out quite a bit because what was "scheduled" for dinner never sounded good to Jake. So now, I am cooking things we both want to eat and I am just trying to watch my portions.

So far, cooking dinner is going great. Sunday night I made sweet & sour meatballs with rice and "homemade" {read Rhodes rolls}. Jake was pretty impressed I made something that required so much planning, since the rolls have to rise for 2-4 hours plus baking time, and the meatballs needed to cook in the crockpot. Just had the crockpot going and rolls rise while we were at church and then came home, cooked some rice and put the rolls in the oven and bam dinner was done. And it was really good! Last night, we had shrimp fettuccine alfredo with garlic bread and same thing - it was really good! Both nights I made JUST the right amount to have dinner and then enough leftovers that we could each take some to work. Tonight, we are having chicken taco's {currently cooking in the crockpot} with Spanish rice before we go to Mutual tonight. It seriously is SO nice knowing exactly what to buy at the store, and knowing each day what I need to cook for dinner. Grocery shopping was GREAT because I just had a long list of random things I needed for dinner and now I am set for 2 weeks, with the exception of a few perishable things I will need for next weeks meals that I plan to buy next week. And because I have this schedule made up, I can use it once the baby is here too so that I know EXACTLY what to buy and what to cook. The guess work is ALWAYS the hardest part for me.

I am really wanting to start working out again - I really miss it. I have ZERO energy in the morning though, so I am hoping that I can somehow start doing it at night, even though I have NEVER liked working out at night? Maybe I can do it in the morning, even when I am tired, if I know that I get off work at 2 and can take a nap as soon as I get home? We'll see how that goes. More than anything, I want to do Turbo. I miss is SOOOOOO badly. Every time I hear a Turbo song on my phone I can't help but stop whatever I am doing and do the moves to it. I miss it SOOO much. My midwife told me at my 8 week appointment I had to stop though because it caused cramping. So my solution, for now, is to do ChaLean Extreme. That's more weightlifting rather than Turbo, but it's the same girl so I can get my Chalene Johnson fix. You can do the program with resistance bands {which I have} or weights {which I have}. I like it with weights better, but because I am a little clumsy, I probably shouldn't be holding a 25 pound weight around my growing belly. So my solution is that I am HOPING Jake will do CLX with me! He can use the weights, and I can use the resistance bands. And there isn't any jumping, so it's a great "starter" workout. And I have wanted to workout together since I started working out - I think this is the program to do together. We'll see though - I don't know how excited he is at the thought of working out with me haha.

All the girls at work think I am having a girl. At first, I totally gotta admit I wasn't very excited at that thought but then I started looking at girl stuff and we already had a girl name picked out and now I am just excited for a baby - I don't care what he/she is. But Jake has really been hoping for a boy. This morning I was talking to him about it and asked if he would be mad if it was a girl. He looked at me like I had just asked him the stupidest question in the world and said "Uh no it's a baby - I'm excited we are having a baby. I don't care what it is." Made me feel better because I really thought that he was dead-set determined on a boy. We can find out what we are having at my doctor appointment at the end of July - we will be 18 weeks then!

Today I am wearing one of my favorite pre-pregnancy outfits, and even though it's a little snug I still feel good in it. I curled my hair and actually put jewelry on, like I did before I got pregnant. I even have heels on - my favorite pair. And it's helping. Feeling like a girl - with heels and make up and curly hair - makes me feel better about the fact that I am getting soft in the middle. Yay for feeling like a girl again.

And that's it for all the random things in my head!