Sunday night, as we were going to bed, I was in a LOT of pain. I don't know if Kaycee was laying on something or if it's just my uterus stretching or if I am a world-class wimp but I felt like I was going to cry. Jake was SOO tired and needed to get up in a few hours for work, so I decided against asking him for a blessing, even though it's what I really wanted. I did, however, ask him if we could say a prayer together. We suck at the whole couples prayer thing - something I REALLY want to get better at, but for right now know that we suck at it. But that night, I wanted to do it. Jake said yes, and we held hands while I said the prayer.
I was taught when I was little that you should always start your prayers with all the things you are grateful for before you ask for blessings. So I listed lots of things - that we got to spend time with my family that day, for our ward family, for the gospel, that Jake is going to day shift {as soon as it's official there will be a blog post ALL about that}, for Kaycee - lots of things. And then I asked that Jake would make it to work safely when it was time for him to go, that I would stop being in so much pain, that Kaycee would be ok in case the pain is something to do with her, and then I asked that we'd make it through this week specifically in safety before we get to the temple.
I meant that neither one of us would get in a car wreck or die before Saturday.
But then I got this feeling like I should elaborate.
So I started talking about being physically safe until Saturday - let us make it to the temple and get sealed. Let us drive there safely. Don't let anything happen to our bodies this week.
But then it evolved - let us make it there spiritually too. Help us make it through all the temptations that Satan is going to throw at us this week. Help us to keep loving each other as much as we do - help us to not fight this week. Help us to be safe from Satan this week.
And THAT'S when I started choking up.
Because I have NO idea where that last part came from. We have been getting along GREAT. Better than great - it's almost perfect. We haven't even snapped at each other lately, let alone fight. Why would I pray that we wouldn't fight this week, that we'd be patient with each other when we already are?
Maybe part of it came because my parents weren't getting along and I was worried about THAT contention. Maybe it's because I knew that someone, somewhere, will get upset with SOMETHING in how we have planned {or not planned} the day of the sealing.
And I realized that it's because that's what Satan wants this week. He wants us to fight and to change our minds about this weekend. To be stressed and not be able to soak in what this really means. Because this is SUPER bad for him. He doesn't want this sealing to happen. And I have always known that, but getting the impression I should pray that we can withhold his temptations was really powerful to me. It REALLY is happening. And Satan is REALLY not happy about it. And the Lord knows that and He wants us to be extra careful this week.
And knowing that has helped me a lot. I was hurting again yesterday {seriously this cramping thing SUCKS!} and I really could have been snappy at Jake or been in a grumpy mood and instead I focused as hard as I could on being positive so that we can not fight and still get along. I made sure to leave Jake his note for the day along with a treat in the fridge {I have been doing 13 days of why I love Jake - there will be a post about that as soon as the 13 days are up} and that helped me feel better when I wanted to be irritated at absolutely nothing. Knowing that we prayed for that extra strength has helped our home.
Satan, you're going to be REALLY bummed come Saturday. Be prepared now, because my little family is going to the temple. Together. Two people who weren't people you had to worry about going to the temple a few years ago are now becoming your worst nightmare. We are forming our eternal family and you can't stop us. Throw whatever you want at us this week - we can take it. Because no matter what, we WILL be at the temple on Saturday.
Only 4 more days.
This is exactly what I needed to read today. We are working on being sealed, and Satan seems to be hanging around more than ever. You and Jake are such good examples to me. I am so happy for you guys I can't even stand it. Thanks for posting this. :)
ReplyDeleteI love that part about being Satan's worst nightmare! You crack me up :) I'm so excited for you and Jake! It's going to be the best day of your lives!
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